The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday 11 July 2013

The Only People Greedier Than A Tory MP.

As predicted by the News In Shorts MP's are wringing their hands in anguish at being forced to accept a hefty pay rise of 11%. While the queues outside the food banks are growing daily, the poor are taxed for having the cheek to have too many bedrooms and the disabled are told they must work or die, MP's are once again helping themselves to the public purse. This has been achieved by grasping MP's through the simple expedient of appointing an "independent" body who's narrow brief was based entirely on "need". We all need a pay increase but only MP's have found something better than a Trade Union to get it for them. To be fair they have also agreed to a curb on their expense accounts and, as we all know, they are well known for their restraint and sense of honour so that should be all right then. Meanwhile the wives of Tory MP's have apparently waded into the fray and demanded that their husbands accept the pay rise or else. It would seem that many of these so-called ladies simply can't afford enough shoes and handbags and feel that starving the poor is only right when faced by such personal hardship. A delighted Tory MP, glad for any alibi no matter how thin, told the Telegraph that "you don’t want to get on the wrong side of the wives. These are formidable ladies.” I'll bet they are, but they seem to be strangely mute when it comes to the welfare and well being of families other than their own.

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