The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Looney Right In A Tiz Over Gay Marriage.

If we all thought that Europe would have the Tory party fuming, then the contoversy over gay marriage has seen them positively foaming at the mouth. The looney left raving over such irrelevancies as worker's rights, low wages and unemployment is as nothing compared to the looney right's incandescence over the all-important question of where people choose to park their marriage tackle. While the Church of England is having an attack of the vapours over the possibility of gay Bishops and the like, the Tories are in a high fever over who should be holding who's hand in public. Norman Tebbit, the Tories answer to the Grim Reaper, is making dire predictions about gay tax dodging, the Royal Family turning queer overnight even as he is forced to marry his own son to avoid death duties. The Tory press is furious that David Cameron should waste valuable Parliamentary time when the economy still hasn't been totally wrecked as yet and the NHS remains to be fully privatised. Thank God Ed Milliband and the Labour party were on the ball, saving the gay marriage bill from the evil clutches of those who proposed it in the first place. If anything could demonstrate the utter absurdity, not to mention the complete futility, of British politics then this is it. While the rest of us are concerned about such minor matters as rising unemployment, rising prices, an insane housing market, the theft of nationally owned assets, the plundering of our pensions and the persecution of the disabled, our elected representatives are more concerned with regulating our sex lives. The News in Shorts has a message for our Right Honourable Members of Parliament - stop talking about inconsequential nonsense and get a grip on the real issues. Either that or move over and let some adults govern the country.

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