The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Tories Plan To Divide The Country.

David Cameron told the Telegraph today that he intends to be Prime Minister until 2020. The Tory plan to achieve this, reported in another Telegraph article, makes for sober reading. Retirement age is to be abolished so that the old can continue to work, reducing pensions to zero so that the wealthy don't have to pay taxes. The NHS is to be privatised for the same reason. Children are to be chained to their school desks for an extra three hours per day while teachers will have to work unpaid overtime. In this extra time they will be taught Mandarin Chinese on the basis that they will need the language of their new masters. Benefit "scroungers" in the North will be paid less than those in the south because they need less money to survive in a job-free wasteland. House sizes are to be reduced to make them "affordable" and more like the cosy slums of the 1840's. Taxes for the rich will be slashed in order to "unleash a new spirit of enterprise," the Tories claim, though how this will encourage the poor they don't seem to know. Presumably they will ahve to be beaten into submission because that is how poor people are "encouraged." This, they confidently predict, will create "ever increasing levels of emotional well-being in our society." It will, of course, do no such thing. All it will do is increase the inequalities in Britain, increase the wealth of the selfish and greedy and push the vast majority to the edge of destitution. This is the Tory wet dream made manifest - a dystopia made possible only because their nasty little prejudices have been elevated to the level of policy. And it is only one general election away.

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