The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

It's All Good News On Planet Tory.

Apparently, according to the Tories, there is little that can be done about half the country being under water - especially as the Environment Secretary, Owen Paterson, has been suddenly rushed into hospital in order to preserve his ability to turn a blind eye. He will be replaced for the time being with Eric Pickles perhaps in the vain hope that his huge bulk might block the view of the Somerset Levels. Meanwhile George Osborne has been outlining his plans to do absolutely nothing about the housing crisis for at least the next ten years while proudly announcing that his programme of cuts has only just begun and we can all look forward to a government so shrunken in terms of its responsibilities that it will soon be doing even less than it does now. All this good news has been further boosted by Boris Johnson's declaration that cutting tax for the richest people in the country will be "at the centre of the next Conservative manifesto" and that he can "see no reason why we shouldn't bring it down." The Telegraph agrees and has declared that the 45p higher tax band is "punishing success" - though much of what they call "success" is indistinguishable from outright criminal behaviour. Essentially the Tories are proudly announcing that we can all expect less in the future - less in terms of the national income, less in terms of services, less in terms of government action and, if what is happening in Somerset is any guide, less in terms of dry land to live on. But we shouldn't worry because the Tories have announced that they too will be getting less - less in terms of taxes, less in terms of their responsibilities and less in terms of the regulation that keeps their greed and selfishness in check. Sounds like a deal doesn't it?

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