The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 9 December 2011

Cameron Pretends To Use Veto.


As 23 countries sign up to a new European accord Cameron sulks and tells everyone that he's "effectively wielded the veto." We asked a European spokesperson for their view; "It makes you laugh doesn't it? Twenty-three countries out of twenty-seven agree to something and the BBC call that a failure. Meanwhile David Cameron is left virtually isolated while we all go ahead and the BBC calls that a victory for Britain and an effective use of the British veto. What, exactly, has he vetoed? The plan will go ahead whether Cameron takes his bat and ball home or not. As usual this is nothing more than a victory for the Tory anti-European wing." We asked Boris Johnson what he meant when he said that Cameron had "played a blinder;"Well David has gone to Europe, been completely isolated, failed to get what he wants, failed to "protect" the City of London and left everyone else to decide our future. This is a victory for the Tory policy of being completely incoherent on Europe. Now we can sit back and watch, with growing satisfaction, as Europe forges ahead and completely ignores us - marvelous!"

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