The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Tories Break Promises on NHS.


British voters were congratulating themselves today for voting Tory and destroying the NHS. As thousands of people are being denied critical care as the NHS shrinks, despite all the promises made by David Cameron during the election, the Tory party is celebrating the demise of their greatest enemy. We asked a Tory voter for his view; "I think its wonderful how Cameron and the Tory party lied to me to get my vote. Marvelous people the Tories. You have to admire the way in which they can tell outright lies and keep a straight face. They are what this country needs - a party with no conscience whatsoever." We turned next to the Tory party for their comments; "This is a great day. We've finally taken health care from ordinary people and made great strides towards making medicine so expensive only the rich can afford it. We're now looking forward to the return of some old favourites - TB, ricketts, cholera, diptheria and thyphus - together with some new deadly diseases such as ebola and denga fever. Of course because we are rich and vote Tory we fully expect to be immune from such diseases and will, in any case, be able to afford health care while the rest of the country is returned to the pestilence-ridden 1840's. I must take the opportunity to thank all the morons out there who voted for us and look forward to their early deaths from awful diseases they thought were only found in history books. So long suckers!"

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