The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

British Graduates Have Great Future - In Australia.


A new report out today has found that British graduates need not apply for work in Britain. We asked a leading agency for their advice to graduates; "With 600,000 youngsters out of work graduates have three choices open to them. They can lower their sights and use their degrees to rise in the world of fast food. They can work for nothing and hope that someone will give them a handout. Or they can sod off to Australia, get a decent job and enjoy a life in the sun. For a graduate this must be a difficult choice. The Australian government, on the other hand, are delighted. They get the pick of the litter without having to go to the expense of educating them and are very grateful to the Tories for providing them with so many willing and desperate graduates. The Tories, meanwhile, are doing what they do best - wasting the talents of their own people. They used to do it by shipping them off to the continent so they could die in a waterlogged trench but the EU put a stop to that so this is the only alternative."

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