The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 26 December 2011

Tories Accuse Each Other Of Being Hypocrites.


Tory Ministers have been crticised by Tory Ministers for campaigning against cuts in their own constituencies, while seeming to care less if its inflicted on someone else. We asked a Tory party spokesperson for his comments; "MP's have a duty to gain an unfair advantage for their own constituents at the expense of everyone else. It is one of the basic tennants of Tory belief - you only get ahead by who you know not what you know. In any case its only fair the constituencies that usually vote Tory should be rewarded for being selfish and greedy. There is a line of thought in the Tory party that we are actually "all in this together," but they are in a minority and it's also completely untrue. Personally I put this uncharacteristic impulse to act fairly down to those bloody LibDems some of whom, though not many, really do believe this rubbish. It's a dog eat dog world, or at least it will be if we have anything to do with it, and all this tosh about cooperation and working together needs to be junked. As for Tories being hypocrits I'm sorry I don't understand the meaning of the word."

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