The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Tories Spend Another Day In LaLa Land.

The Tories have had one of their most successful days since coming to power two and a half years ago. Flushed with the euphoria of ripping thmeselves to pieces over Europe, they have watched with pride as George Osborne, David Cameron and William Hague made complete arses of themselves. First up was the redoubtable George who, speaking in defence of Cameron's intention to sell out Britain over the EU budget, managed to get the phrase "What's best for Britain" into a short interview as many times as possible. Of course what he was really saying was that Cameron would do the minimum needed to keep himself in a job without frightening the lunatic fringe of the party. Nothing daunted "Call me Dave" was addressing the UN about the eradication of poverty. This apparently is possible by throwing money at foreign countries so they can arm themselves with the latest weapons and reclassifying poor people at home in Britain as "scroungers" while redefining anyone with a pot to piss in as fabulously wealthy. Meanwhile William Hague, determined to outbid his colleagues in the utter lunacy stakes, was defending his decision to spend £10,000 of taxpayers money on refurbishing a stuffed anaconda called Albert. You couldn't make it up.

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