The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 26 November 2012

Tories Near To Their Goal Of Destroying Britain.

Having put a stop to recovery the Tories are celebrating as the "good" news keeps rolling in. Demand has continued to shrink as wages stagnate, the jobless and disabled are stripped of their benefits, the cuts reduce family incomes by 30%, manufacturing hits an all-time low and investment is at the lowest its been since 2008. Indeed the news is so "good" that the Institute for Fiscal Studies is confident that the Tories can keep the recession going until at least 2018. Given the parlous state of the economy the question is, where will the government get its money? There is only one answer - raising taxes - and, given this government's aversion for taxing those who can actually afford it, that means more taxation on the less well off. There are already rumours that George Osborne is contemplating pushing VAT up to 25%. The Tories, who are revelling in this recession since it means they can crack the whip over the heads of ordinary people and turn the country back to the 18th century, are in jubilant mood and remain confident that the British electorate are so stupid that they will return them to power in 2015. This, they smugly believe, is because voters have fallen hook, line and sinker for their "the British economy is just like a household budget" line so favoured by Margaret Thatcher and other insane people. The truth is that no householder would deliberately throw themselves out of work and then sell off all their assets, making themselves homeless in the process, in order to borrow more money to give to their favourite charity - the banks. Yet that is exactly what the Tories have sold to the country. How do you like the ride so far?

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