Cameron Has "Little Black Book" Of Really Nasty Policies.

David Cameron has spoken today of his frustrations at having to govern within a coalition and his hope that, after 2015, he'll be able to be as vicious and nasty as he likes. He has, he maintains, "a little black book" of all the policies that even the two-faced Lib Dems couldn't stomach. Generally these "policies" consist of beating the poor to death with a stick while rewarding the greedy and selfish for outstanding success in being greedy and selfish. "We need to get our economy moving," he told the Spectator Magazine, though he neglected to mention in which direction. One thing he is certain of is that the poor, the elderly, the unemployed and the sick will pay for his "reform" of the British economy while criminal bankers, greedy utility executives and various other hyenas of the business world will be the chief beneficiaries. His short-sighted and insane policies are now being trailed using the usual evasive and misleading language that Tories love so much - "more radical action on welfare reform, Europe, the Human Rights Act and support for enterprise". In other words the disadvantaged will be further disadvantaged while legal barriers that have so far limited Tory viciousness will be removed even as those showing "enterprise", or criminal behaviour as the rest of us would regard it, are to be rewarded yet again. Cameron is not laying out any political manifesto that most people would recognise but a blueprint for a crime spree unparalleled in British history. The Tory party is no longer a political party in the accepted sense, it is now nothing better than an organised crime syndicate and should be regarded as such.

Coaltion In A Spin.

Francis Maude has been defending the spending of £7.2 million in taxpayers money by the Coalition on spin doctors this year alone. "It's very difficult for us to present our most vicious and nasty policies as reasonable, especially when we have to deal with namby-pamby Lib Dems and the lefty press such as the Daily Mail. We've found that murdering pensioners this winter is a particularly difficult policy to sell when Ed Milliband, for some reason, wants to save them. What can you do with such unreasonable opposition to our logical and perfectly humanitarian policies? Then there's the vexed question of doing nothing whatsoever. You have no idea how difficult it is to do nothing and then pretend that we've taken decisive action. This has been particularly difficult when it comes to closing tax loopholes where we've made magnificent and masterly efforts to do avoid doing anything at all. But the real difficulty is staying on message. We are spending millions on spin doctors to sit under desks in TV studios whispering "It's all Labour's fault" while ministers struggle to avoid answering any and all questions posed by commentators. I've got one under my desk at the moment - which reminds me - spin doctors were invented by Labour you know and this is all the fault of the last government."

Nick Clegg And The Gentle Art Of Betrayal.

Nick Clegg is getting desperate these days as the general election in 2015 draws ever closer. Having utterly betrayed those who voted for him and his party, having betrayed every principle that his party is supposed to stand for, having betrayed the country, he is now positioning himself to betray his coalition partners. His attack on Michael Gove's education policy, after years of supporting it, is nothing more than opportunism - a feeble excuse to distance himself from the crimes of this government before he's called to account at the ballot box. Cameron has expressed his "surprise" at this sudden move but it is hard to understand why. Clegg is a weasel and is behaving as weasels do. Cameron should understand this since he is weasel too and, like Clegg, will countenance any measure that protects his wealth and privilege especially if someone else has to pay for it. Gove's policy in terms of independent academies was always bound to fail since it allowed education to be placed into the hands of any untrained swivel-eyed loon with an axe to grind. Clegg knew this but supported it anyway. The scandal over the Al-Madinah free school in Derby and others like it was bound to surface sooner or later and Clegg must have known this too. For his part Gove is only interested in lowering his tax bill and wouldn't give a damn about education even if the Taliban themselves were opening schools in the North of England. There is, however, a silver lining in this particular cloud since we can now all sit back and watch the fun as the pack of rats forming our present government turn on one another instead of us.

Vince Cable Nails His Colours To The Mast.

Nick Clegg spent much of yesterday trailing around the TV studios trying to defuse in advance whatever Vince Cable might say about the Tories and the Coalition government at the Lib Dem conference. He needn't have bothered. Screwing up all his courage Vince told the Lib Dem conference that the Tories are "ugly" and "blinkered", he suggested that the Tories had made scapegoats of the unions, benefit claimants and immigrants and that they had "reverted to type" as "the nasty party." He darkly intimated that he had several private "red lines" which, if crossed, would trigger his resignation from the Coalition government. Unfortunately he then went on to tell the conference that the Lib Dems are right to support the deeply unfair and entirely selfish economic policy of austerity for the poor while millionaires are rewarded for their greed. Nor did he reveal what his personal "red lines" might be. In fact any analysis of Vince Cables speech will find it long on rhetoric and very, very short on anything that might pin him down in the future. Essentially he blamed the Tories for every nasty, spiteful policy sponsored by the Coalition government while mounting the Nuremburg Defence for himself and the Lib Dem party. He and the rest of his two-faced Lib Dem colleagues will not shoulder any responsibility for the last three years because they are only following orders.

Nick Clegg Defends His Record In Government.

Nick Clegg came out of hiding today to tell the BBC about his plans to betray the country once again after the next election. After telling us that we quite liked coalition government despite all the evidence to the contrary, he defended all the policies that he failed to get past his Tory pals and claimed that any future Labour government would "wreck the current economic recovery for the rich". Britain, he confidently asserted, would not give either Labour or the Tories an overall majority at the next general election and he would make absolutely sure that we would all benefit from another five years of Tory government. "We must finish our work of killing of the unemployed, useless cripples and poor people," he told the BBC. "I have become very comfortable here in cloud-cuckoo-land," he added, "and would like to extend my term in a cushy job that pays well, gives me unlimited expenses and doesn't demand much in the way of effort. If everyone in Britain got off their idle arses and got themselves a job like mine just think how happy they would be. That is the trouble with this country. If we all became as vicious, self-serving and greedy as my Tory mates we'd all be much better off." Meanwhile Clegg's party, delighted by his divorce from reality, were busy distancing themselves from both him and the Tories as 90% of the party expressed their wish to get as far away from the Tories as they can. A Lib Dem spokesperson told our reporter; "We are gratified that our leader is so complacent and we wish him well after his retirement from politics three years ago. We have found the experience of being emasculated by the Tories very exhilarating but feel that we shouldn't repeat the experience anytime soon. We are now looking forward to Labour reversing all the welfare reforms before we too find ourselves out of work."

Britain's Coalition Of Evil.

The Tory track record on the economy has always been dire. From the 1920's when their ideological commitment to keeping the pound chained to the Gold Standard wrecked British exports, through the 1930's when they refused to do anything remotely useful to ease the Depression, to the 1970's and 80's when their hatred of the Unions led them to utterly destroy British industry, they have always put their insane prejudices ahead of reality. They have been able to do this because they are experts at lying to the electorate and have no conscience whatsoever about inflicting untold damage on ordinary people in order to feather their own nests. Britain is now in the midst of an unprecedented assault on those things that once made this country a truly civilized nation including a hate campaign against the disabled and disadvantaged in order to destroy the welfare state, the destruction of worker's rights (they are now less effective than they were during the Victorian period) and the dismantling of the NHS in preparation for its privatisation. They have been aided in this by the LibDems whose ideological about-face has been the most extraordinary in British political history and has left those who voted for them feeling horrified and utterly betrayed. Both of these parties have based these completely uncalled-for policies on the economic myth that it was Labour fiscal irresponsibility before 2008 that makes their insane agenda unavoidable. In this self-serving legend the banks and their greedy criminality have no role and it is the Labour party's tax and borrowing when in government that takes centre stage. Yet, as the Guardian points out today, borrowing in 2007 was at its lowest since 1997 when Labour first came to power and was a great deal lower than it was under the Tories. There is no fiscal crisis as the Tories describe and, what's more, there never was. The Coalition's economic policies are based purely on ideology and have absolutely nothing to do with reality. Deflationary policies during a recession are pure idiocy but are pursued by this government simply because it provides the necessary alibi to turn back the clock and return wealth and power to where they believe it belongs - to themselves.

Tories Near To Their Goal Of Destroying Britain.

Having put a stop to recovery the Tories are celebrating as the "good" news keeps rolling in. Demand has continued to shrink as wages stagnate, the jobless and disabled are stripped of their benefits, the cuts reduce family incomes by 30%, manufacturing hits an all-time low and investment is at the lowest its been since 2008. Indeed the news is so "good" that the Institute for Fiscal Studies is confident that the Tories can keep the recession going until at least 2018. Given the parlous state of the economy the question is, where will the government get its money? There is only one answer - raising taxes - and, given this government's aversion for taxing those who can actually afford it, that means more taxation on the less well off. There are already rumours that George Osborne is contemplating pushing VAT up to 25%. The Tories, who are revelling in this recession since it means they can crack the whip over the heads of ordinary people and turn the country back to the 18th century, are in jubilant mood and remain confident that the British electorate are so stupid that they will return them to power in 2015. This, they smugly believe, is because voters have fallen hook, line and sinker for their "the British economy is just like a household budget" line so favoured by Margaret Thatcher and other insane people. The truth is that no householder would deliberately throw themselves out of work and then sell off all their assets, making themselves homeless in the process, in order to borrow more money to give to their favourite charity - the banks. Yet that is exactly what the Tories have sold to the country. How do you like the ride so far?

Coalition Split Over Taxing The Rich.

For the last two-and-a-half years we've been fed a steady diet of "there's no alternative" as the coalition have squeezed the poor to pay for the banking crisis and allowed various corporations to raise prices in order to increase their profits. The young have been calously sacrificed, the disabled vilified and persecuted even as property speculators, bankers and rentiers have been pampered. "We're all in this together," David Cameron famously told us and then used the recession as an excuse to steal the NHS, undermine workers rights and conditions and cut taxes for the rich. Soon "We're all in this together" became "You f**cking plebs should know your place." Taken by surprise when the "plebs" took exception to this, the coalition had no choice but to back-pedal a little in order to maintain at least a thin veneer of decency. How thin the veneer actually is was revealed when the LibDems floated the idea of increasing taxes for those who live in mansions worth more than £1 million. The cabinet immediately split along party lines with Tories such as Chris Grayling, the Justice Secretary, Grant Shapps, the Conservative Chairman, Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, and Philip Hammond, the Defence Secretary, howling at the very idea. With the need to reduce the deficit suddenly becoming a secondary concern, it is middle- and upper-income voters in Tory-controlled parts of south-east England that are now of paramount importance. The usual nonsense about not taxing "wealth creators" won't wash this time since the personal assets of company directors are entirely divorced from their business activities. Nor does the other hoary old lie, that raising such a tax would actually return less money, hold water. The rich can hardly claim that a mansion in the Home Counties is actually located in a convenient tax haven. It's even more unlikely that the owners of such properties would immediately decide to vote Labour. This then is nothing more than an open admission that we are certainly not all in this together and that shielding the rich is the Tories only real concern.

Coalition Begins Meltdown.

As the sheer madness of George Osborne's economic policy continues to drain the life out of the country there are growing signs that the Coalition is literlly falling apart at the seams. Calls for Nick Clegg to resign and give way to someone who knows what he is doing are increasing both in frequency and intensity. While the LibDem peer Lord Smith of Clifton describes Mr Clegg as "just a cork bobbing on the waves" and accuses him of "loving the ministerial limousines", he pointedly added "We don't need all these young kids running the government." The sense of growing panic, however, is not confined to a LibDem party in terminal decline - there are signs that the sheep in the Tory party are similarly spooked. While they wonder if David Cameron is a man or a mouse and shy away from the obvious answer, the man who lost the leadership contest last time around, David Davis, is busy re-sharpening his knives. His proscription for saving the country is basically even more of the same - tax cuts for the rich, fewer services for the poor, fewer rights for workers and less regulation of people straining at the leash to commit various criminal acts - all neatly wrapped up in the excuse that the LibDems are to blame for "diluting" Tory nastiness. Asked what and how deeply he would cut the state he told the Telegraph; “This is not something that should be done by plucking numbers out of the air, but after serious analysis." In other words he doesn't want to tell the electorate how vicious he'd like to be until after the next election. "Vote for me - I've got a really cunning plan - but I don't want to let you know what it is until after I get my hand in the till. Trust me - I'm lying to you."

How Low Can The Tories Actually Get?

It is becoming the most hotly disputed political question of the day - how unutterably disgusting can the Tories get before even they can't stand the smell? As far as the economy is concerned they seem to be completely impervious to any amount of criticism and are perfectly content to watch the country pauperised. A completely understandable fall in retail sales during August is being described as "unexpected." By whom? Certainly not by local councils who are busily investing in charity-run food banks in the certain knowledge that next year will see the ressurection of 1930's Depression era breadlines. This, apparently, is what David Cameron means by the "Big Society." Not content with forcing millions into destitution, the Tories are also busily engaged in forcing the NHS into bankruptcy in order the smooth the way for privatisation and steal it from the people that actually own it - me and you that is. 21 hospitals, worth over £15 billion, are expected to be handed over to corporate healthcare vultures before the next general election as the Tories reward their wealthy pals for all their "donations." Meanwhile the LibDems, having betrayed every principle they pretended to hold and having gained absolutely nothing, seem set to support what amounts to a criminal conspiracy after a new poll revealed that they will be virtually wiped out at the next general election. So how low can the Tories sink to satisfy their avarice and lust for revenge against the country? You might ask ex-soldier Karl Boon who lost his left leg to a Taliban rocket-propelled grenade in Afghanistan during 2010. He has been stripped of his £54-a-week living allowance because losing a leg in the service of his country doesn't make him disabled enough to deserve it. That is how low the Tories can get.

Vince Cable Latest To Throw Toys Out Of The Pram.

Vince Cable waded into the spat between the Tories and LibDems today telling his coalition partners that their proposed boundary changes would be defeated in the Commons with the aid of the Labour party. Another LibDem who's discovered where he left his spine? Unfortunately for the rest of us the answer has to be a resounding "no." If Vince really did think in terms of the national interest instead of the narrow interests of the LibDem party then perhaps the economic figures would be a little healthier. After all he is the Business Secretary. Instead we have the Bank of England having to point out the blindingly obvious - that the British economy is flat on its back and, like a turtle, lacks the means to get back onto its feet. To drive the message home the deficit figures out today show the greatest gap between imports and exports since 1997 which, by the merest coincidence, happens to have been the last time the Tories were in charge of wrecking the economy. So, as far as Vince is concerned, its 10 out of 10 for scratching the Tories eyes out and 0 out 10 for actually doing his job.

Tory Nutters Stymie Lords Reform.

In a tremendous display of circular reasoning and spurious excuses Tory right-wing backbenchers , which is most of them, have launched a bid to scupper House of Lords reform. Led by the likes of Nicholas Soames, grandson of Sir Winston Churchill, they are "appalled" by the idea that a lucrative little earner when they retire may be taken off them. Hiding behind various spurious arguments about "democracy," something which every one of them would like to dispense with, the Tory backbenchers are also hoping to hand their LibDem coalition partners, something else they'd like to dispense with, a crushing defeat. In their usual way the Tories are hell bent of derailing reform in order to serve their own selfish ends and are cynically trying to manipulate public opinion against a long-overdue assault on their privileges. Far better, they tell us, to maintain this hang-over from the Medieval period - after all the rest of us are merely peasants and should do as we're told by the great and the good.

A Definition Of Britain's Coalition Government.

The Tories are like a gang of yobs who, suddenly looking up from beating up a helpless wheelchair-bound victim, see the hostility of the gathering crowd and say "What?" For the LibDems, who have been cheering on the Tory yobs from the safety of the gathering crowd, its a matter of running off before the police arrive.

Coalition Tries To Find Arse With Both Hands.

While David Cameron and Nick Clegg celebrated the reaffirmation of their Faustian pact in a facotry that is about to upstakes and move to China, their mates back in London were busy trying to bury the truth about the smash and grab raid on the NHS. Despite demands by the Information Commission that Lansley should publish the transitional risk register on his grubby NHS Reform Bill, the Coalition has used its veto to stop it being seen - putting a purely domestic policy on the same footing as preperations for war. Usually such a veto would only be used under exceptional circumstances and, in this case, the exceptional circumstances seem to be the survival of the government which is blatantly putting its own interests before those of the country. We asked Andrew Lansley, Britian's most successful thief, for his comments; "This is not a step I have taken lightly. I am a firm believer in greater transparency except when it might cost me my job. There needs to be safe space where officials are able to give ministers the lies necessary for them to get away with criminal acts like this one. We can't have a thing like democracy pushing its way into government and allowing the peasants to believe they have a right to know things."