The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday 2 September 2012

Coalition Begins Meltdown.

As the sheer madness of George Osborne's economic policy continues to drain the life out of the country there are growing signs that the Coalition is literlly falling apart at the seams. Calls for Nick Clegg to resign and give way to someone who knows what he is doing are increasing both in frequency and intensity. While the LibDem peer Lord Smith of Clifton describes Mr Clegg as "just a cork bobbing on the waves" and accuses him of "loving the ministerial limousines", he pointedly added "We don't need all these young kids running the government." The sense of growing panic, however, is not confined to a LibDem party in terminal decline - there are signs that the sheep in the Tory party are similarly spooked. While they wonder if David Cameron is a man or a mouse and shy away from the obvious answer, the man who lost the leadership contest last time around, David Davis, is busy re-sharpening his knives. His proscription for saving the country is basically even more of the same - tax cuts for the rich, fewer services for the poor, fewer rights for workers and less regulation of people straining at the leash to commit various criminal acts - all neatly wrapped up in the excuse that the LibDems are to blame for "diluting" Tory nastiness. Asked what and how deeply he would cut the state he told the Telegraph; “This is not something that should be done by plucking numbers out of the air, but after serious analysis." In other words he doesn't want to tell the electorate how vicious he'd like to be until after the next election. "Vote for me - I've got a really cunning plan - but I don't want to let you know what it is until after I get my hand in the till. Trust me - I'm lying to you."

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