Reality Closes In On Cameron.

Two seperate tidal waves are about to engulf David Cameron, one from the Left and one from the Right, as reality finally catches up with this hapless dreamer of what is a nightmare for the rest of us. The first tidal wave on the horizon has been set in moton by the TUC which has finally come to the conclusion that they have to do something if the country is not to be forever changed into a parody of Dickensian Britain. In his speech to the TUC today Ed Balls came very, very close to giving his blessing to a general strike as he, unlike Ed Milliband, realises that the moment of decision is fast approaching. It must be said, however, that he allowed himself a huge amount of "wriggle room" when it came to economic policy under any future Labour government. Meanwhile those behind the "stalking horse" plan to dislodge Cameron from within the Tory party itself have been revealed as David Davis and Liam Fox - both right-wing madmen with a personal grudge against their leader. David Davis is the man defeated by Cameron during the last leadership contest. Liam Fox was the man sacked from his cabinet post when it became obvious that he couldn't tell the difference between his ministry and a personal fiefdom where his best friend, Adam Werrity, could solicit bribes from various shady right-wing organisations. In other words they are a team made up of a loser and a crook. These two men are not attacking Cameron because they think he's gone too far, but because they think he's not gone far enough. Not content with Cameron's Tory wet dream, they are calling for a full-on violent rape of the country.

Coalition Begins Meltdown.

As the sheer madness of George Osborne's economic policy continues to drain the life out of the country there are growing signs that the Coalition is literlly falling apart at the seams. Calls for Nick Clegg to resign and give way to someone who knows what he is doing are increasing both in frequency and intensity. While the LibDem peer Lord Smith of Clifton describes Mr Clegg as "just a cork bobbing on the waves" and accuses him of "loving the ministerial limousines", he pointedly added "We don't need all these young kids running the government." The sense of growing panic, however, is not confined to a LibDem party in terminal decline - there are signs that the sheep in the Tory party are similarly spooked. While they wonder if David Cameron is a man or a mouse and shy away from the obvious answer, the man who lost the leadership contest last time around, David Davis, is busy re-sharpening his knives. His proscription for saving the country is basically even more of the same - tax cuts for the rich, fewer services for the poor, fewer rights for workers and less regulation of people straining at the leash to commit various criminal acts - all neatly wrapped up in the excuse that the LibDems are to blame for "diluting" Tory nastiness. Asked what and how deeply he would cut the state he told the Telegraph; “This is not something that should be done by plucking numbers out of the air, but after serious analysis." In other words he doesn't want to tell the electorate how vicious he'd like to be until after the next election. "Vote for me - I've got a really cunning plan - but I don't want to let you know what it is until after I get my hand in the till. Trust me - I'm lying to you."