The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 11 September 2012

Reality Closes In On Cameron.

Two seperate tidal waves are about to engulf David Cameron, one from the Left and one from the Right, as reality finally catches up with this hapless dreamer of what is a nightmare for the rest of us. The first tidal wave on the horizon has been set in moton by the TUC which has finally come to the conclusion that they have to do something if the country is not to be forever changed into a parody of Dickensian Britain. In his speech to the TUC today Ed Balls came very, very close to giving his blessing to a general strike as he, unlike Ed Milliband, realises that the moment of decision is fast approaching. It must be said, however, that he allowed himself a huge amount of "wriggle room" when it came to economic policy under any future Labour government. Meanwhile those behind the "stalking horse" plan to dislodge Cameron from within the Tory party itself have been revealed as David Davis and Liam Fox - both right-wing madmen with a personal grudge against their leader. David Davis is the man defeated by Cameron during the last leadership contest. Liam Fox was the man sacked from his cabinet post when it became obvious that he couldn't tell the difference between his ministry and a personal fiefdom where his best friend, Adam Werrity, could solicit bribes from various shady right-wing organisations. In other words they are a team made up of a loser and a crook. These two men are not attacking Cameron because they think he's gone too far, but because they think he's not gone far enough. Not content with Cameron's Tory wet dream, they are calling for a full-on violent rape of the country.

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