The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday 28 September 2012

Francis Maud Charts The Future For The Plebs.

Francis Maud has told the right-wing think tank Policy Exchange about Tory plans for the future of Britain in a scene reminiscent of "The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy." His vision, like Deep Thought's answer "42" is largely incomprehensible, and Mr.Maude knows that the vast majority of British people are "not going to like it." Essentially he said that the Tories were going to wipe out all state services through a process of privatisation that will place billions of pounds worth of assets into the hands of private equity companies being run from tax havens abroad. The police, roads, schools, hospitals - in short everything - will be handed over to the greedy and stupid so they can rob the British public, provide minimum services, pay their employees the minimum wage and then walk away with the profits without having to pay tax. In other words, he sees Britain as a conquered territory to be exploited by him and his band of greedy barbarians who are determined to sweep all before them. The British people will then be "free" he assures us in a re-run of the famous Nazi phrase "Arbeit Mach Frei" (Work Sets You Free). But "free" to do what exactly? This is the nature of the Tory wet dream - a nightmare for the rest of us, the "plebs" whose only function is to provide the wealth for people like Francis Maude. It is a truly terrifying picture and threatens a dystopia that even Orwell could hardly imagine.

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