The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

Tories Celebrate Return Of The Blind Beggar.

David Cameron, pictured above as many would like to see him with his head on a spike, is celebrating the return of blind beggars to the streets of Britain tonight with his fellow cabinet gang members. Giving evidence to MP's as to the impact of the Tory "reforms" on the benefit system, Henry Sherlock, a blind former health worker, told how he has been reduced to begging. Mr Sherlock, who also suffers from chronic heart disease and diabetes, related how he had to "rely on family handouts and additional begged support in order to live." In typical mealy-mouthed fashion the DWP reacted to this evidence by maintaining that "If someone disagrees with the outcome of their Work Capability Assessment, they have the right to appeal." Meanwhile the government has further announced that the link between benefits and living standards is to be broken and that benefit payment will be frozen for two years, pushing the most needy and vulnerable in our society further into poverty and widening the gap between rich and poor. Having sold this vicious policy to the British people by citing the need for austerity to pay for a recession largely created by George Osborne and peddling the myth that benefits are "too generous", the Tories now feel they can move away from their ludicrous claim that "We are all in this together." To underline this they have made another announcement - that the Border Agency will fast-track wealthy, "high value" travellers flying in and out of Heathrow Airport. This, the Tory junta assures us, will show that "Britain is open for business", or, as it used to be known, exploitation.

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