Achievers Or Just Numbskulls?

There appear to be some very contradictory views coming from the Tory party at the moment. MP Alan Duncan believes that criticising David Cameron could lead to parliament being filled with "low achievers". who "hate people who look after their own family and who know absolutely nothing about the outside world". This is pretty punchy stuff especially when you consider that the Tory party seems to hate everyone who isn't a Tory, look after their own families at the expense of everyone else's and have absolutely no idea about the lives of ordinary people outside the Westminster bubble. At the same time his comments seem to confuse achievement with making money. Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Leonardo Da Vinci and Archimedes certainly achieved a great deal but, as far as I know, none of them were millionaires. What Mr.Duncan doesn't seem to understand is that greed does not equal achievement while obsessively piling up huge amounts of money in offshore accounts is not an achievement but a mental health issue. Nor does inheriting large amounts of money from dead relatives make you an "achiever". Still, to redress the balance William Hague then said something equally as shallow, misleading and downright stupid. Looking too closely at a politician's financial dealings, according to Mr.Hague, might frighten off otherwise talented people. It might, for instance, frighten off those whose personal finances are an absolute shambles and deny us all the valuable experience they might bring to high office. "Personal circumstances are not necessarily a good guide to how good they will be as a prime minister, a chancellor or anything else," he said. So a really good politician, according to Mr.Hague, might be stupid, he might be feckless and he might even be dishonest. This is in sharp contrast to the way in which the Tories regard everyone else however. If you are poor, disadvantaged, disabled and badly educated, then you cannot by definition be deserving. But, if you are rich, privileged, expensively educated and stupid, then you deserve to wield power and should be given every opportunity to prove how worthy you are. Accustomed as we are to the Tories turning the world on its head these mental gymnastics are truly awesome. It is certainly true that being greedy, over-privileged and utterly stupid has never held back either Mr.Duncan or Mr.Hague. What holds the rest of us back, however, is a system that puts too much emphasis on wealth and not enough on real ability.

Tories Spend Another Day In LaLa Land.

The Tories have had one of their most successful days since coming to power two and a half years ago. Flushed with the euphoria of ripping thmeselves to pieces over Europe, they have watched with pride as George Osborne, David Cameron and William Hague made complete arses of themselves. First up was the redoubtable George who, speaking in defence of Cameron's intention to sell out Britain over the EU budget, managed to get the phrase "What's best for Britain" into a short interview as many times as possible. Of course what he was really saying was that Cameron would do the minimum needed to keep himself in a job without frightening the lunatic fringe of the party. Nothing daunted "Call me Dave" was addressing the UN about the eradication of poverty. This apparently is possible by throwing money at foreign countries so they can arm themselves with the latest weapons and reclassifying poor people at home in Britain as "scroungers" while redefining anyone with a pot to piss in as fabulously wealthy. Meanwhile William Hague, determined to outbid his colleagues in the utter lunacy stakes, was defending his decision to spend £10,000 of taxpayers money on refurbishing a stuffed anaconda called Albert. You couldn't make it up.

Tories Promise Austerity Forever.

The Tory party would like to apologise for the inconvenience, but austerity is here to stay if Britain wants to maintain its position as a global superpower. "Britain may not be in the future what it has been in the past," Cameron will tell the conference today. "We are in a global race," he will warn us though, with the IMF telling us that continuing with George Osborne's suicidal economic policy is plain stupid, Cameron's message seems to be that this is little more than a race to the bottom. The world has changed, Hague told the BBC and, because of that, the Tories have decided to remain completely unchanged. Basically he was telling us that there is no choice but to impoverish the majority of the country in order to preserve an elite who are our only hope. But not to worry for, as Ian Duncan Smith told us on Monday with a poker face; "If we care for our country we must care for all our people, for they are our country. That is why our reforms must improve the chances for the very least of us." Essentially, then, the Tory policy consists entirely of stealing from the poor to preserve the rich and then offering warm words to hide their motives from the electorate. As an Orwellian attempt at "Newspeak" this is all pretty weak and amatuerish, but the fact that it should exist at all is a warning for the rest of us. The Tories have long claimed to have a monopoly over our past - eager to tell us simplistic stories about the glories of our imperial heritage - but they are now trying to claim a monopoly on the future - even more eager to tell us simplistic stories about the terrible fate that awaits us if we vote Labour or even have the temerity to protest. The truth is that there is an alternative, but that doesn't include a future for the Tory party - which is why they don't want anyone talking about it.

Hague Parades His Utter Stupidity.

William Hague, yet another Tory who has never done a real day's work in his life, has told people in business to "stop moaning" and "work harder. "We're trying to rescue the work ethic just in the nick of time," he told the Sunday Telegraph without a flicker of irony considering the number of people this criminal government has thrown out of work. His proscription, apparently, is for businessmen to get on a plane and flog things to the Chinese. What things? The Tories began the process if de-industrialisation in this country and it is typical of them to now call for an export drive and then blame industry for not being able to respond. In case he's failed to notice most of our industry now resides in China and India where it was exported in a cost-cutting exercise that benefitted only short-sighted greedy morons like him. Nor is the expertise still available as thousands of engineers have either left the country or retired without being replaced over the last 30 years. Winston Churchill once famously said; "Give us the tools and we'll finish the job." Nowadays, even if someone was generous to give us the tools, most people would stare at them and wonder what they are for. The Tories turned their backs on ordinary working people in this country years ago and their latest attempts to blame the victims of their spiteful and ultimately harmful policies are truly risible.

Minister at the Foreign Office is Stupid

In a shock revelation today a senior Minister with the Foreign Office has been found to be stupid after waving a "confidential" memo at reporters outside No.10. "These things happen," William Hague said afterwards. "If we sacked every minister who was thick and totally incapable of understanding what "confidential" means we'd have nobody left in government would we." Our reporter, faced with this remorseless logic, had to agree.