The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Cameron Caught Telling Fibs.

The Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) has asked David Cameron to stop telling lies today as they accused him of deliberately misleading the public over austerity. Cameron had claimed in a major speech that the OBR agreed with him that austerity was not responsible for Britain's economic woes when they had said no such thing. We asked an OBR spokesman for his view; "Well, not to put too fine a point on it, Cameron is a f******g liar. Everyone knows that the Tory plan to force poor people to pay for the recession is a b******g disaster. While ordinary people are being forced onto the street by the bedroom tax and bankers are still being paid huge bonuses for being criminals, Cameron and his millionaire cronies are not only coining it but are actively trying to flog off the NHS to make themselves even richer. This is not a government - its a bunch of barbarian marauders with all the economic expertise of Attila the Hun." Stunned by such a forthright analysis of the Cameron regime we turned to a leading economic expert from Cambridge University for a more balanced view; "Cameron is a f*****g liar who should be horsewhipped through the streets of every major city in Britain. As for George Osborne, hanging is too good for him. These people have set out to rob the country in broad daylight and have only managed to survive so far because of that two-faced t**t, Nick Clegg. Their so-called economic policy is nothing more than a mugging and why they haven't been dragged into the streets by a howling mob is a complete mystery." In yet another attempt to get a better opinion of Cameron we invited a Tory spokesman to give the party view; "Cameron? He's not only a f*****g liar, he's not even a very good one. We expect our leader to lie in a far more convincing manner than this. It's a constant source of great sorrow in the Tory party that we are not being led by Nigel Farage - now there's an idiot we can all be proud of."

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