The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Thatcher To Get A Socialist Funeral.

In keeping with the new socialism for rich people Margaret Thatcher will be buried at the expense of the country. While the rest of us get untrammeled capitalism the privileged have once more dipped into the public purse to fund yet another jamboree for themselves. While MP's stuff their pockets with expenses, bankers trouser millions from the public purse, so-called entrepeneurs help themselves to our taxes for running industries stolen from us and the rich avoid paying tax, Margaret Thatcher will get a publicly funded funeral so her kids can keep their money. Didn't she have an insurance policy with the Co-Op for funeral expenses? Apparently not. Hopefully they'll put her under a very large rock so she can't get out again, but there's no guarantee. There is already talk about erecting a statue to her, perhaps on the famous unoccupied fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square. The News in Shorts would suggest somewhere a little higher to avoid scrap metal thieves with a sense of humour. The question is would £10 million be too much to see the back of her? How many useful people such as doctors and nurses or teachers or even refuge collectors be funded for £10 million? Anyone of them would be better value than her.

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