The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Tories Plan To Close Beds For Non-Paying Patients.

With the NHS under increasing pressure and the Tory party unwilling to raise taxes on the super-rich and their corporations, they have decided to square the circle by closing down thousands of beds. Those of us who have paid for the NHS all our lives will soon find ourselves locked outside though, of course, the number of private beds will remain unaffected. In a plan described as ‘shockingly irresponsible’ by Dr John Lister, director of the campaign group London Health Emergency, the Tories intend to close down 25% of all hospital beds with no clinical rationale for the move whatsoever. Essentially they are doing it so that they and their rich mates don't have to pay tax, resoning that their greed is more important than some peasant's life. And, of course, once the NHS has been privatised the price of hospital care will be all the more expensive because of a restricted supply and unlimited demand. Less in tax and the opportunity to cash in on other people's misery - its a Tory dream come true. We asked a Tory party spokesman for a comment; "We have looked at the problems of the NHS and come to the conclusion that we'll never have a better opportunity to cash in. There are many sick people out there who are simply begging to have their cash lifted while they're too weak and vulnerable to do anything about it. Its nothing personal, you understand, its just good business. Essentially we've had your money now f**k off. And don't forget, the NHS is safe in our hands, we'll cut the deficit not the NHS and all the other rubbish we have to mouth to get anyone to vote for us at all."

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