The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 14 December 2012

The Trap Set For Labour.

George Osborne, pictured above talking to a typical member of the Tory party, is the "Master Strategist" who's come up with a cunning plan to trap Labour into an unpopular stance in the run-up to the next election. Step one was to label anyone that the Tories have thrown out of work as a "scrounger." Step two was to assure those same "scroungers" that the Tories were not talking about them but some other, ill-defined, "scrounger." Step three was to re-classify people without legs and confined to wheelchairs as "scroungers" and encouraging yobs in our society to attack them in the streets. Step four was to hold up Paralympians as heroes to divert attention away from the campaign against the disabled and demonstrate that all disabled people can actually win gold medals if they really want to. Step five - and this was the master stroke - was to get Labour to defend the weak and vulnerable against their vile attacks and thus put themselves on the wrong side of the argument. As a plan it suffers in only one particular - it puts all of us on the wrong side of the argument and will, ultimately, punish us all for having the sheer nerve to exist. It is entirely dependent on us failing to notice that the Tory party hates all of us and not just the person stood next to us. As such Labour's stance is simply the "truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools." Perhaps Osborne should read more Kipling and rely less on scripts from "Blackadder."

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