How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Tories Give Incompetent Executives Another Reward.
Cameron has decided to give incompetent executives another means of covering their own exposed backsides at the expense of their employees. The consulatation period before giving workers the heave-ho has been cut from 90 to 45 days. "This will stimulate the economy no end," a CBI spokesman told out reporter today. "What this country is crying out for is yet another scheme to get people out of jobs with the minimum of fuss and reduce demand even further. In times of uncertaintly there is nothing like even more uncertainty to get the peasants back in line. But by far the most important point is that useless executives without the necessary qualifications to run a piss-up in a brewery will now be able to save their own necks in double-quick time and safeguard their generous pensions and richly deserved bonuses." A spokesman for the Tory party explained; "Our reforms will strike an appropriate balance between making sure employees are completely ignored and allowing employers greater certainty and flexibility to take necessary steps to restructure their own finances. Today's announcement will send a strong signal to industry that the government is committed to creating the completely one-sided labour market that it needs."