The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 21 December 2012

NRA Sense A Business Opportunity.

You have to hand it to the National Rifle Association (NRA) they don't miss a trick. In the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre they have come out fighting today and are eager to sell the line that the solution of too many guns is - more guns. Knowing, as a any good salesman does, that an objection is merely an opportunity to sell, they have sought to overturn the objections of parents who don't like to see their children gunned down and turn it into an opportunity to sell even more guns. Better yet they see it as an opportunity to expand their role in American society and cash in by offering their expertise for a scheme to have armed guards at every school in the country. "The only protection against bad guys with guns is good guys with guns," they told the nation in all seriousness, without outlining how they would differentiate between the two. "The only way to protect our dear, innocent children," they suggested, "is to incarcerate them in a bunker bristling with weapons." What do they want, schools that look more like the Maginot Line than centres of learning and excellence? Well yes, actually. That, apparently, is the only way to protect children against those who play violent computer games (usually other children) and those who see the gun as the answer to everything (such as the NRA). Sensitive as ever, they timed their press conference to coincide with the two-minute silence for the victims of the Sandy Hook massacre. Like I say, you have to hand it to them.......

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