The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 14 April 2014

If You Sup With The Devil.

The picture above shows the most essential piece of equipment when supping with either the Devil or a Tory MP - a long spoon. We have become used to David Cameron claiming that he is the successor to Jesus Christ and that Iain Duncan Smith is the William Wilberforce for the modern age. Such ideas, imported wholesale from religious/political dingbats across the Atlantic, are now becoming common currency in the UK and can be regarded as the usual hypocrisy practiced by politicians since the beginning of time. However, as practised by the Tory party, this new enthusiasm for religious iconography seems to be rather more hypocritical than usual and a great deal more sinister. Iain Duncan Smith claims that he is saving us from evil scroungers and freeing them from a life of shame even as the victims of his policy are forced to choose between food banks and suicide. In fact all he is doing is providing the necessary savings to reward himself and his fellow Tory MP's with a nice juicy tax cut. In other words he is quite prepared to kill people for money. Likewise David Cameron likes to believe that his "Big Society" bears some sort of relationship with the teachings of Christ, though it remains very doubtful that Jesus was hoping to reward the Temple money lenders or that His Sermon on the Mount urged "hard working" people to vote for the Romans. While all this cant, hypocrisy and outright rubbish can provide some wry amusement, the latest round of Tory sleaze is far from a laughing matter. According to Colonel Bob Stewart, Tory MP for Beckenham, his Parliamentary colleagues are both "human" and "make mistakes sometimes" but are "paragons of virtue" when compared to those filthy foreign politicians. The question remains, however, as to why taxpayers money has been used to finance a gay orgy for Tory MP's at a Manchester hotel or why Tory party whips have been ordered to destroy incriminating evidence. Still, Tory boys will be Tory boys.

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