The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Cameron Too Idle To Get Dressed.

David Cameron, pictured above during a rare fully dressed moment, has admitted that he spends much of his working life in his pajamas. We asked the part-time Prime Minister why; "I suppose it began when I was unemployed - which to be fair has been most of my life. As a dedicated scrounger and tax avoider I found there was no real need to dress unless I happened to find myself outside. Even then I spend so much time on various European beaches that I don't really need much more than a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Which raises another good point. Most of my clothes are permanently packed away in my suitcase in readiness for my next holiday and so are not available on a day-to-day basis. But what ordinary people have to realise is that important, rich people like me have no need to dress unless on public display and, in my case, I could easily be replaced by a tailor's dummy or my waxwork from Madame Tussauds. Work is as irrelevent to me as the recession - either way I continue to get richer because you are getting poorer. That is how it should be, I'm sure you'll agree. However, if it will help me to get elected again, I'll put getting dressed more often in the Tory party's next manifesto. After all our manifestos are just as irrelevent to us as working or the recession and, once I'm back at No.10, I'll just ignore any promises I've made to those daft enough to vote for us."

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