The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Cameron Now Less Popular Than The Black Death.

It's official - David Cameron is now less popular than the Tory party which in turn is less popular than a dose of the clap. How did it come to this? Is it the fault of those fiendish Europeans? Is it because there are not enough gays in his party? Is it all the fault of the LibDems whose Machiavellian plotting has undermind the Tory plan to return us all to the Dark Ages? Is it because of a failure to communicate the urgent need to pauperise the entire country? No, it is none of these. It's because Cameron and his entire cabinet are of bunch of talentless, smug, self-satisfied dedicated scoungers without a working brain cell between them. Its because they actually believe that turning the whole country into one giant soup kitchen is actually a good idea. But, despite these obvious facts, the question still remains - how could a single individual, even one as depressingly stupid as Cameron, be more unpopular than a whole bunch of the depressingly stupid? The answer is actually quite simple - almost as simple as a Tory voter. The Tories have wilfully destroyed the entire economy to rescue a financial system that is both beyond repair and even more unpopular than they are. They have nailed their colours to the mast of a sinking ship, and then turned to the urgent task of rearranging the deckchairs. They have ignored the obvious and demonstrated, once again, that common sense will always come a poor second to their insane ideology. The Tories are unpopular because they are crazy and Cameron is even more unpopular because he's permanently out to lunch if not permanently on holiday.

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