Banks Warn Homeowners.

Two high street banks, both of whom were bailed out at taxpayers expense, are warning their customers to cut back on household budgets in order to service their mortgage debt. "People who have been desperate enough to take on huge mortgages to buy into a house market deliberately inflated by us should make sure they've got their priorities right," a banking representative warned, wagging a finger at our reporter. "The most important thing in any efficient economy is that banks should be allowed to run amok whenever they like and that they should have full and unfettered access to everybody else's money." Asked about bankers bonuses, the spokesman stated firmly; "Bankers bonuses are a necessary part of the banking system. If we don't pay them how will we recruit the calibre of reckless gambler needed for our business? One of the main skills bankers need is barefaced cheek and paying bonuses helps people to do this without blushing."