The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 31 August 2011

David Cameron Visits Tottenham

In a whistlestop tour of Britain David Cameron, the Prime Minister of Chiantishire, has revisited Tottenham. "I've come to see how my idea for the 'Big Society' is getting on," he told reporters before going on to speak to potential Tory voters. "I think its marvelous how ordinary people have come together in Tottenham and demonstrated their resolve to work together," he said, surveying the devastation in Tottenham High Street. "If they can only summon up the same sense of community to clear up the mess they made when they rioted we're in business!" Commenting on the conspicuous lack of any help from government the Crime Minister told reporters; "I believe in small government - so small that its difficult to see its there unless you happen to be paying your taxes. It is not government's business to interfere in ordianry people's lives when they're doing as they're told. No, our government is dedicated to those things governments can do well - transferring money from the poor to the rich, destroying public services and removing all hope from the country."

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