Chris Grayling and the Vexed Question of Intelligence.

Chris Grayling, the most supid man in the Tory party, has resigned his seat on the intelligence committee after his failed attempt to become it's chairman in what was supposed to be a rigged election. "I'm not used to failure," Mr.Grayling told our reporter. "After my resounding triumphs in collapsing the Northern and Thameslink rail services, granting of a no-deal Brexit ferry contract to a company with no ships and privatising the probabtion service so that it could no longer function I expected more support from my Tory colleagues - especially since Boris promised me my election was guaranteed." When asked if this wasn't somewhat undemocractic Mr. Grayling replied. "Too bloody right it was. What's the point of an election if it can't be rigged? If a democracy can't compete with even a banana republic in the bribery and corruption stakes what's the point of politics? I was all set to censor any mention of Russian inteference in the Brexit referendum and then this happens. Vladimir was absolutely incandescent and has threatened to put a stop to any further contributions to the Tory party if we don't get our act together." Asked whether this wasn't sort of treasonous the former transport minister and justice secretary replied; "What are you talking about man? If it's good for the Tory party then it's good for the country - everyone knows that otherwise we wouldn't have an overwhelming majority of 43% of the electorate behind us." Asked if this, again, wasn't rather undemocractic, Mr.Grayling looked aghast. "Look you silly man, it is absolutely necessary that the right people are in power otherwise any fool could be Prime Minister rather than a Tory fool which would be disastrous in terms of Britain's main concern - offshore banking and tax avoidance. You'll be telling me next that our esteemed leader, Dominic Cummings, should stand for election. I mean how would we rig an election like that?"

Tories Warn That Labour Would "Clobber The Rich".

Chris Grayling, the Justice Secretary who fiddled his expenses for £127,000, has warned the electorate in Britain that a Labour government would "clobber the rich". This would be a disaster, according to this well known crook, because rich people are the nation's "wealth creators". "We are on side of people who create jobs," he told the BBC "people who work hard and want to get on in life." A stranger to any kind of work, hard or otherwise, this Tory snake oil salesman then went on to claim that rich people would simply leave the country. After three years of clobbering the poor to finance their own luxury lifestyle this self-serving drivel is the only defence that the Tories can put up. The rich in this country are not "job creators" because, after three years of having everything their own way and getting ever richer, we are hardly awash with jobs. Nor are they "wealth creators", choosing instead to be wealth hoarders and to stash their cash in offshore bank accounts in order to avoid paying tax. Nothing could illustrate better what the Tory party is all about, peddling the lie that rich people are rich because they work hard whereas many simply inherited their money and that poor people are poor because they deserve it. Clobber the rich? After three years of this unwarranted and deeply unfair attack on the vast majority in this country on behalf of a privileged few I'd squeeze them until the pips squeak.

Lies, Damned Lies And Tory Backbenchers.

As well as gongs awarded in the forthcoming honours list, the various no-hopers, morons and ineffective ministers sacked by Cameron can expect to share a quarter of a million pounds in tax free "redundancy" money. You remember redundancy money - its the money ordinary people used to get when they were fired for reasons of "efficiency" but which has largely disappeared of late. Unfortunately these "sweetners" seem to have failed to do the trick as the new backbenchers queue up to attack their own party, government and leader. Cheryl Gillan, dismissed as Welsh Secretary, will spearhead the Tory opposition to the high-speed rail project, while Paul Burstow, the sacked LibDem health minister, now feels free to describe the Tory reform of the NHS as "dangerous" and seems to have suddenly rediscovered his political principles. Meanwhile Cameron has promoted several bozos of doubtful intellectual ability to positions where they can inflict the maximum of damage to the country. People like Chris Grayling, the man who believes in slavery and thinks its all right to discriminate against gays, promoted to the position of Justice Minister. Or Owen Patterson, who doesn't believe in global warming, thinks wind farms are a waste of money and wants to fast-track shale fracking, now promoted to head the Ministry for the Environment. Little wonder, then, that Cameron has increased the government budget for "marketing" - or as we would know it, hiding the truth and spinning lies.

Tory Delusions Meet Reality.

Ian Duncan Smith and Chris Grayling have discovered the basic flaw in Tory ideology - it is based on sheer fantasy. In this particular case the fantasy is that private sector companies can find jobs for the unemployed when no jobs actually exist. They have found out what all of us already knew - you can't pour two pounds of sugar into a one pound bag. Ingeus UK, one of the biggest so-called "welfare providers" who had hoped to get their hands on taxpayer's money for not doing very much, have now discovered that the government actually expects them to do something for their money and they are panic striken. One of their directors, Jack Sawyer, who doesn't seem to understand that you can't get jobs for people when there aren't any, has sent stern warnings to his staff that their performance is "not good enough." However the company has also been at great pains to demonstrate that they are not fiddling the figures. The DWP too was quick to state that “robust control and assurance arrangements in place to guard against fraudulent claims being made by providers". Now why, I wonder, would they be so worried about being accused of fraud? Ian Duncan Smith and his sidekick, Chris Grayling, are rapidly being shown up for what they are - brain dead ideologues with absolutely no idea about what is real and what is delusion.

Nick Clegg Tries To Claw His Way Back.

Nick Clegg, probably the worst turncoat in the history of British politics, has apparently had an epiphany and come to the conclusion that perhaps, after all, wealthy people should pay taxes too. Telling the "Guardian" that the recession is deeper than expected and has mysteriously turned into a double-dip variety for no apparent reason, he has suggested that perhaps rich people should pay tax in the interests of "fairness". His colleagues in the LibDem party are reported to be astonished at his sudden conversion to the principle that we should "all be in this together" and it has been widely mooted that Nick might be trying to save his party, not to mention his reputation and career, before the next election. "This is an exciting development," a leading LibDem told the "News in Shorts". "Nick has finally realised that the only way to save the party at the next general election is to get his lies in good and early. We think that this initiative could become one of our flagship policies along with "no tuition fees for students". Meanwhile the Tory half of the firing squad that describes itself as a government showed its true colours when Chris Grayling, the Tory Minister for employment and notorious for the size of his property portfolio paid for by the taxpayer, announced that young Londoners would be forced to work for nothing. "I've looked at Nick's proposal," he told our reporter with a snigger,"and come to the conclusion that this is nothing more than the politics of envy. Rich people can't be taxed because they'll throw their toys out of the pram and move to Lichtenstein. We cannot kill the golden goose that refuses to lay any eggs. I for one would immediately upstakes and move to Belize in order to demonstrate my patriotism. The only way forward is less taxes for me and more for you - after all we are all in this together aren't we?"

Tory Scroungers Desperately Point The Finger.

Ian Duncan Smith and Chris Grayling, looking like two evil hard-bolied eggs in a double egg cup, have renewed their attack on the disabled with even greater vigour. In the "Guardian" Grayling has written a piece that attempts to make his personal crusade against lazy and feckless people without legs look reasonable. Taking a woman with depression he claims to have met, he poses the question "Wouldn't she be better off working?" The answer is, of course, that I and the vast majority of "Guardian" readers would not have the slightest idea. Perhaps Grayling should ask her doctor. One thing is for certain and that is that IDS and Grayling have made sure that ATOS is a doctor-free zone and that their "tick-box" approach to assessment is as unfair as it can conceivably be. Meanwhile the parents of disabled children have been receiving letters from the DWP warning them that if they spend their children's allowances on themselves then the children may be taken off them. The assumption is clear - the DWP believe that all parents of disabled children are lazy feckless scroungers taking advantage of their children's disabilities to buy cigarettes, alcohol, and satellite TV for themselves. All of this is bad enough but is made even worse by the behaviour of Chris Grayling who has plundered the public purse through his expenses claims to purchase four properties in London. He has even managed to manipulate the expenses system to purchase two different flats in London as his "second home" at the same time. And this despite the fact that his constituency home is less than 17 miles from the House of Commons. When it comes to scrounging Chris Grayling is the master and for him to point the finger at disabled people is hypocrisy of the worst kind. He is the true face of the nasty Tory party that David Cameron has been at such pains to deny.

Tories Rob The Poor To Pay The Rich

Despite all evidence to the contrary Chris Grayling, pictured above, is still insisting that his pogrom against the sick and disabled is justified. A man who stole £127,000 of taxpayers money by fiddling his expenses has the sheer brass neck to accuse others of being "scroungers." Meanwhile homelessness has risen by 25% in the last three years and income levels for ordinary people have fallen to the lowest level since early 2005. There can be no doubt that austerity is beginning to bite - for the poorest people in our society at any rate. And what is the result of all this? Has our deficit fallen? No it has increased. Is our economy beginning to recover? No, and our double-dip recession is now tipped to be a triple-dip recession next year. And, just to add insult to injury and despite Tory promises that it wouldn't happen, top Civil Servants at the Treasury have been handed £1 million in bonuses for simply doing their job. Coupled with George Osborne's tax break for the richest in the country there can no longer be any doubt that the Tories are determined that the poor will pay for a recession that they themselves have engineered. No wonder they're not overly concerned about the economy - it makes no difference to them one way or the other. Their concerns are only tangentially concerned with the economy. Their real concern is to roll back all the progress that working people have made at the last 150 years and recreate the gross inequalities they love so much. For them the age of progress is over and its now time for them to once more sink their fangs into the country like the bloodsuckers they are.

Back-To-Work Companies Demand More Torture Of The Unemployed.

Having spent two years trying to shoehorn 2 million unemployed into 500,000 jobs the "back-to-work" companies are beginning to panic. Unable to make the kind of money they would like for teaching people to write "killer" CV's and coaching the unemployed in interview techniques they are increasingly turning to punishing the unemployed through the imposition of sanctions. Now they are asking the government for more punishments to be handed out for those who refuse to get non-existant jobs. In a mealy-mouthed statement Chris Grayling, the Employment minister, said; "This government expects jobseekers to comply with the conditions of their benefit if they are receiving taxpayers' money." The same might be said of MP's who continue to abuse the expenses system to line their own pockets and look to backhanders from corporate "lobbyists" for nice little earners at the expense of the rest of us. We might also expect a British government to work in the interests of the people rather than in their own interests but, alas, the idea that they are there to serve the people as a whole is not a principle they are prepared to consider. Unwilling to take any action that might alleviate the situation the Tories have only one solution to every problem - punish the victims. They continue to trot out the same tired old phrases about tax-payers money, but conveniently choose to forget that they, too, are paid through the public purse and ignore the fact that they are hardly good value for money.