The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 2 September 2020

BBC Launches New Comedy Show - "You Know You've Lost The Argument When....."

Following pressure from various neo-Nazi, pro-Brexit and tax-dodging billionaire organizations the BBC has launched a purge of left-wing comedy programmes. According to the Daily Telegraph the BBC is “unfairly biased against the Tories, Donald Trump and Brexit” and is therefore guilty of poking fun at the most inept government in the UK's history, the most dangerous and moronic President that the US has ever elected and the most stupid political idea since Caligula made his horse a senator. Shows such as BBC 4's "The Now Show" and TV's "Have I Got News For You" are to be axed to be replaced by "Jocob Rees-Mogg's 18th Century Show" and "Have I Got Neo-Nazi Propaganda For You". The plan has reportedly run into trouble, however, as the BBC has found it difficult to recruit right-wing comedians who are actually funny. As one BBC insider told our reporter; "The trouble with right-wing supporters is that they are spectacularly unfunny when it comes to actually telling jokes. They are great if you want to pack the audience of "Question Time" but much of what they believe is more chilling than funny. At the end of the day what is funny about wanting to kill pensioners to fund future tax cuts, watching the US descend into civil war or Britain committing economic suicide? Putting some gammon on stage to scream abuse about foreigners, gays and not wearing face masks in the middle of a pandemic is only funny to demonstrate how stupid such views are. There's nothing funny about "A foreigner, a gay and a Remainer walk into a bar and are shot by a neo-Nazi thug." The other problem is that right-wing supporters have no sense of humour and probably wouldn't understand a punch line anyway. We are in danger of producing right-wing comedy shows in which the audience only knows when to laugh if you hit them with a stick."

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