Boris Johnson: Evil Mastermind or Thick Twat?

It is the burning political question in the UK today. Is Boris Johnson an evil mastermind or simply a thick twat educated beyond his intelligence and in office because of his privileged background? The evidence is somewhat difficult to interpret and any conslusion obscured by his popularity. On the one hand he's been sacked from just about every job he's ever had for lying in a completely unconvincing manner while his former boss, Sir Max Hastings, has described him as "unfit for national office, because it seems he cares for no interest save his own fame and gratification" and that "blame (for his premiership) will rest with the Conservative party, which is about to foist a tasteless joke upon the British people – who will not find it funny for long." He has the morals of an ally cat, leaving his former wife as she faced cancer for a blonde bimbo 24 years his junior who was pregnant with his second illegitimate child. For good measure Boris has also described the children of single mothers as "ill-raised, ignorant, aggressive and illegitimate." Well he should know. But what of his track record as a political figure? This has been marked by some rather bizzare decisions on his part. There was the £40 million spaffed up the wall on his London garden bridge scheme and the £320,000 spent on three useless water cannons when he was Mayor of London. Fortunately his idea of creating "Boris Island" in the Thames estuary as an alternative London airport was quickly put to one side by the Airports Commission in 2014 before he could waste any money on it. Since becoming Prime Minister he has a new scheme on which to waste time - his proposal for a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland. With a cost estimated to be upwards of £20 billion, Boris believes that it would "strengthen the union" between England, Scotland and Northern Ireland in the fraught Brexit times ahead. Unfortunately engineers have branded the scheme as a "thoughtless soundbite" that "no sane contractor or responsible government" would sanction. This then is the man who has overseen the Coronavirus pandemic which has resulted in close to 70,000 excess deaths in the UK and to a massaging of the figures to bring them down to a more comfortable 45,000 on the basis that if victims survive more than 28 days after catching the disease then they don't count. He is also the man who is cheerfully putting at risk the entire UK economy on a Brexit no-deal in order to save the Tories favourite scam - offshore banking - while showing Johnney Foreigner "what's what". So evil mastermind or thick twat? Strangely enough he seems to be both. A thick twat with a masterplan that would put Baldrick to shame, an idiot willing to destroy his country for a dubious mention in the history books, a moron with ambtions to be a second-rate Moriarty.