The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Vermin Control And Tax Dodgers.

Westminster, it transpires, spends £1,500 of taxpayers money every week on vermin control and yet there are just as many Tories there as there was last month and the month before. It would seem that the vermin controllers need their own watchdog - Ofverm, Ofrat or, more appropriately, Oftory perhaps. Imagine what it would be like in The House of Commons if rats were sponsored by tax-dodging corporations like the Tories are - the place would soon be overrun with them, as it is overrun with Tories. It certainly explains why there are so many Tories in political parties other than the Conservatives, why there has been a definite lack of socialism in the Labour party or liberalism in the Liberal Democrats over the last couple of decades. £1,500 per week does seem a rather large amount of money when compared to the zero effort put into bringing tax-dodging corporations to heel but, since they bribe the Tories (of all parties) to turn a blind eye this is hardly surprising. Not that George Osborne needs much persuading - his own family business has made over £200 million in profits over the last seven years and yet has payed nothing - that's right zero, zilch, nowt - in tax. This is what happens when vermin control is put into the hands of a rat. Can anything be done? Well, we could try catching all the Westminster vermin in a huge trap, putting large amounts of cash in them as bait. We could also tell the large corporations that, if they don't pay tax, then they will not be allowed to trade here in the UK. Many would pick up their skirts and run for the hills I'm sure, but homegrown companies might then step in creating a few more jobs while they are at it. We could also shut down the largely British-owned offshore tax havens like Jersey, the Bahamas and the Cayman Islands. But then where would the likes of George Osborne hide his money from the rest of us?

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