The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 3 March 2014

Looney Tories Accuse Ed Miliband Of Causing Russian Invasion of Ukraine.

There seems to be nothing that the Tories are unwilling to blame Ed Miliband for. Their latest piece of sheer tomfoolery has senior Tory MP's seriously suggesting that he is to blame for Putin's bellicose attitude towards the Ukraine. Their reasoning runs something like this; Ed Miliband voted against an idiotic Tory plan to invade Syria, ergo Putin believes that Great Britain lacks the courage to invade Russia. There are, of course, several major problems with this line of reasoning. First Boris Putin needs little encouragement to be bellicose to anyone who annoys him. Secondly if the British Army did invade Russia Putin would probably call the police and have it arrested. By far the greatest objection to this ridiculous accusation, however, is the advisory document on the Ukrainian crisis photographed in the hand of a senior official outside No.10. Basically this said that Britain should make all the usual noises about "unwarranted Russian aggression" and "economic and political sanctions" but should not do anything that might affect London's financial interests. Even with something as serious as a possible full-scale war in Europe the Tory right-wing loonies are far more interested in scoring points off the Labour party and making sure that their investments remain safe. They have managed to shoot right past idiocy and are, as usual, rushing full-tilt towards swivel-eyed gibbering insanity.

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