The Panama Papers.

So what do the Panama Papers actually tell us? That the wealthy, the greedy and the selfish have been lying to us and have expertly avoided their responsibility to the societies that have supported them? We already knew that, even if we've allowed ourselves to be blind-sided by these reptiles. We have stood by as they have pedaled their lies about austerity like the fools they always took us to be and allowed ourselves to be diverted into hating the under-privileged while they returned the world back to the cesspit it was before 2008. These people, it must be said, are experts at the long-con, but we saw that revealed in 2008 and yet we still allowed them to get away with it and, to our shame, allowed them to set the whole thing in motion once again. We were taught our lesson in 2008 and we then promptly forgot it. In the UK 37% of the population were so stupid that voted into power the most rapacious, vile and utterly ruthless bunch of conmen they could find. The Tory party has condemned hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens to lives without hope and have scapegoated the most vulnerable in our society simply to cover their own tracks. They have stolen money from the poorest in our country in order to reward themselves and their rich mates with nice juicy tax cuts. They have told the disabled that they deserve to lose £30 a week even as their rich mates greased their palms. Now their two-faced treachery has been laid bare for all to see. And what was the response of our Prime Minister? Contrition? Guilt? Embarrassment? No, he simply told us that his family's part in this grubby affair was "private business". Private business? Not any more it isn't. As the great Roman poet Horace once told us; "A word once let out of the cage cannot be whistled back again." Well, maybe not twice.

I Want To Tell You A Tory.

I want to tell you a tory. My grandfather died in 1917 at the age of 31. He didn't die in the trenches because he was in a reserved occupation - he was a carter for the Great Western Railway. He died because he couldn't afford an operation for a condition that, even then, was easily corrected if you had the money. He died in a work house infirmary because, out of work because he was ill, he couldn't afford hospital fees. My grandmother, after her husband died, got no help from the state because he had not served in the armed forces and she couldn't get a war widow's pension. She died in 1932 from malnutrition after years of starving herself to feed her children. My father, their youngest son, had no choice but to join the Army in 1935 because when he turned 18 he couldn't get a job because employers didn't want to pay him an adult's wage. This is the kind of Britain that the present Tory party wants to recreate. An NHS flogged off to their rich mates at bargain basement prices so they can steal from the sick and pay off the Tory party with "donations". The welfare state dismantled so that those in distress can die early and reduce the excess population. A job market that doesn't provide a living wage so that fat cats can get fatter and provide the Tory party with yet more "donations." The question is - is this the kind of country that you want? The Tories will tell you that there is no alternative and, of course, from their perspective there isn't. How else can they maintain their privileged and pampered life style in a world wrecked by their criminal mates, the bankers? Is there an alternative? Of course there is, all we need is the courage to take it. Which is why the Tory's deal in fear and finger pointing. Frightened people vote Tory and Tory voters love to blame the poor, the underprivileged and the disabled. And the Tories are always frightened, frightened of losing their money, frightened of losing their undeserved privileges, frightened that one day, they too, might have to do an honest day's work.

Toryism Jumps The Species Barrier.

In response to the statement made in "The News in Shorts" yesterday by Professor Loon, the Liverpool Centre for Disease Control has issued a stark warning; "Professor Loon was far too optimistic in his statement about the recent spread of the new and more virulent form of the Tory pathogen. This disease had its origins in the United States before crossing the Atlantic during the mid-1970's when Ronald Reagan visited Britain. The British people at that time, having been exposed to similar pathogens over the last 1,000 years, were largely immune. However, Margaret Thatcher, the "Typhoid Mary" of British politics, caught the disease and infected the entire Tory party quite quickly. By the end of the 1990's the Labour party had also caught the disease and it seemed that only the Lib Dems remained completely immune. In 2008, however, it became apparent that the Lib Dems had also succumbed and had simply been hiding their symptoms from the electorate. While in the United States the disease displayed such symptoms as hallucinating that Communists or "Reds" were lurking under every bed and that owning a gun made people safer, in Britain a more alarming effect was an entire generation of politicians being born with their heads up their arses. This proved quite conclusively that the latest bout of Toryism is the most virulent form of the disease seen so far and there is growing evidence that it has now crossed the species barrier and is infecting real human beings. This was made possible by a new mechanism never before seen in the spread of infectious diseases - finger pointing. So far the multi-national drug companies have failed to find an effective vaccine to combat the disease, mainly because there's no money in it for them, and there is a real danger that the entire country might be infected while the whole of British society could soon perish en masse."

In A Time Of Austerity Can Britain Afford Scrounging Tories?

It is the burning question of the day - in a time of austerity with the British economy on its knees, can it afford to be run by a bunch of freeloading scroungers who've never done a real day's work in their lives? Is the Tory party, the receptacle for the prejudices and insane ideas of a lunatic right-wing fringe, a luxury that we simply can't afford? We asked a leading academic from Oxford University, Professor Loon, for his view; "The Tory party has in the past proven to be a very useful organisation into which all the lunatic ideas of the greedy, selfish and self-serving could be safely quarantined. This is fine when they have absolutely no chance whatsoever of forming a government, but they represent a real danger during times of economic stress when the electorate often become irrational and vote for them. Fortunately, after the last bout of Toryism under Thatcher and Major, the British people were partially cured and refused to give them an outright majority in the last general election. Unfortunately the Lib Dems were on hand to allow them into government and then gave them a free hand to inflict their lunatic ideas on the rest of the country. They immediately turned on the poorest and most vulnerable in our society in order to protect their own wealth and to help out their criminal mates in the banking sector. Having spent the last 30 years scrounging off the people who do the real work in Britain they were now given a chance to consolidate their position while flogging off national assets at knock-down prices to their pals and pocketing millions in bribes. Essentially they have moved on from "Greed is good" to "Corruption is good". Not that they needed much encouragement. Still we can look forward, in 2015, to at least a partial recovery from this latest bout of Toryism and some experts believe that, after this virulent form of the disease has run its course, then it might be eradicated once and for all from the British body politic".

Britain Seizes Up.

After only 30 months the Tory plan for "improving" the nation is coming to fruition. The gap between rich and poor is widening at an accelerated pace, unemployment has continued its remorseless climb, the deficit has grown, suicides are up, MP's are still fiddling their expenses and voting in line with their own financial interests and bankers remain free while paying themselves huge bonuses for criminal failure. Meanwhile arrangements for the Olympic games are rapidly descending into farce, airport queues are growing, reform of the Lords has been set back for a decade, hospitals are being bankrupted and the wealthy are still avoiding paying tax. In other words the "Big Society" is nothing more than the same old society with even more added inequality. The entire country is literally seizing up as the economy collapses and working people struggle to meet ever higher prices while they are paid less and less. Britain is not Greece and does not have its economic problems but the Tories continue to pretend that it is. They are more than out of touch, they are an actual danger to the peace of the realm, a disaster for Britain who seem to relish the idea of driving the country into revolution.