The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Britain Votes For National Extinction.

Britain has voted for Brexit - so what next? To begin with it is important to know that we have just handed ourselves over to the likes of Boris Johnson, Chris Grayling, Michael Gove and Iain Duncan Smith - some of the most rapacious, selfish, greedy and vicious Tories ever to crawl from under a rock. These are the kind of people who will now rewrite our Human Rights legislation which will be one of the shortest documents ever written by a British government. These are the people who will be looking after the NHS, inasmuch as they will be looking after their own interests while they flog it off to their rich mates. These are the people who will be in charge of our economy which will be soon only be a part-time job since there won't be much for them to concern themselves with. These will be the people who will oversee the dissolution of the UK as Northern Ireland and Scotland cut their ties to Little England as it sinks into irrelevancy. In the great tradition of English stupidity the country has voted for national extinction as they sit in the rain unable to afford holidays abroad, shouting "Yah-boo" at Johnny Foreigner as they watch a bunch of right-wing Tories steal everything in Britain that isn't nailed down. Congratulations turkeys for voting for Christmas.

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