The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Angela Merkel Says "Nein"

Boris Johnson, following his triumph on the cricket field this weekend, finally came up with an EU exit plan today. He would saunter over to Europe when he felt like it, tell the EU what he wants and then watch as Johnny Foreigner falls to his knees and begs him to accept everything he wants. With full access to the single market Britain would have to pay nothing to the EU while the free movement of people across Europe would be a thing of the past. And, if this didn't come to pass, then Boris could saunter back to Britain with Article 50 safely put away in a box until he does get what he wants. "Give me what I want or I won't invoke Article 50 and leave you dangling." Unfortunately Boris didn't count on Johnny Foreigner, or rather Angela Merkel, being rather more clever that the average British voter. She has said "Nein". There will be no negotiations before Article 50 is invoked and, if Britain wants access to the single market, it will have to contribute money for the privilege and accept the free movement of people. In other words we will have all the "disadvantages" of EU membership without, at the same time, having any voice. Now where did we hear that before? Oh yes, that's right, it was voiced by the Remain campaign. So none of the advantages promised by the Leave Campaign but all of the disadvantages pointed out by the Remain Campaign. So where is our "strong" negotiating position now? Like most things about the Leave Campaign it now proves to have been an illusion.

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