Cameron Pretends To Do Something About Lobbying.

As Britain continues its headlong descent to third world status David Cameron's promise to do something about the corruption of lobbying has inevitably come to nothing. Described as a "dog's breakfast" Cameron's legislation is nothing more than a fig leaf to hide the criminal connection between government and fat cat vested interests. The reason is quite simple. The Tories are a corrupt bunch of crooks and fear that they will be cut off from the sources of income they need to maintain their wealthy lifestyles. Pocketing bribes is what the Tories do for a living and the so-called legislation to curb this was never going to be effective if they can help it. Selling the British people down the river is not simply what the Tories do for money however, it is also how the they maintain their sense of superiority. They do it as a matter of course because they know they can and it demonstrates that they are separate and distinct from the rest of us who have to obey the law because we are essentially powerless. They, on the other hand, feel above such considerations and feel that taking bribes with impunity, harming the weak and vulnerable and stealing ordinary people's dreams for the future shows the rest of us how important they are. This legislation demonstrates their utter disdain for us and the extent of the corruption which they feel is their God-given right.

Tories Talk Only To Millionaires.

To any reasonable person it is evident that multi-national companies simply don't have enough influence over the government. At least that is the conclusion that the Tories have come to and, to redress this shortcoming, they have decided to set up a "buddy" system between key ministers and big business. "Multi-nationals have long given us a great deal of money for no apparent reason and we have set up the "buddy" system to get to the bottom of this mystery," a Tory spokesman told our reporter. "At the same time we can listen to their opinions about policy since we have absolutely no idea what they think. Of course many ministers and the heads of multi-nationals are already close friends but, strangely enough, there has never been a recorded instance of company executives ever saying anything about policy to a minister. Apparently they spend most of their time talking about things such as the meaning of existence and other deep philosophical mysteries. We have, as you know, listened to the opinions of ordinary people - the NHS is a case in point - but we've found the dialogue rather unsatisfactory since most people completely disagree with us and we don't get the answers we want. We now believe that the best way forwards is to talk only to millionaires who, for no accountable reson, do agree with us and tend to come up with the same ideas as ourselves. That provides proof positive that only rich people know anything worth knowing or have opinions that are worth considering."