Pots Call Kettles Black.

MP's on the Public Accounts Committee have issued a report today on the practice of paying public employees through private companies in order for them to avoid tax. This scam, widespread in the Civil Service, has now been revealed to be similarly widespread at the BBC. The Committe is quite right that this is little better than fraud as those in public employment pretend that they are actually working for a private company and their employers turn a blind eye. However, it must also be said that MP's can hardly take the moral high ground as their expenses continue to be nothing more than a sick joke. They might well pay their taxes through PAYE as public employees but what does that matter when they are allowed to claim back the cost of everything from a can of dog food to a £2 million pound London mansion? They have much in common with higher paid civil servants and BBC "personalities" - all are lazy free-loading scroungers and all of them are content to stand aside as the disabled and the unemployed are villified and punished for being nothing more than unlucky.

Civil Service Thwart The Tories.

Having outlined Tory plans to privatise the entire country Francis Maude is now throwing his toys out of the pram because the Civil Service are refusing to go along with it. To any normal human being this would be entirely understandable since it is completely unreasonable to expect people to cooperate in their own destruction. It is even more unreasonable to expect their cooperation when the government is threatening to put 10% of the entire Civil Service on permanent probabtion. It must also be said that the Civil Service is perhaps a little more patriotic than the Tory party who, lets face it, would sell their own granny for a quid. For Maude, however, such defiance is "completely unacceptable." "We can't have the Civil Service protecting the country against us as we crush ordinary people under the wheels of our greed and ambition," he told our reporter. "It remains true, I admit, that we have to retain the ability to blame the Civil Service when our badly thought out and utterly insane policies are revealed as unworkable, but, like all the other plebs in this country, we have a God-given right to expect the Civil Service to do as they're f**king told. I've heard mutterings about this government being arraigned before the European Court of Human Rights but their fears are entirely groundless. The Tory party lawyers have assured me that we have an airtight argument in the Nuremburg defence - I was only following orders. The Civil Service can plead that they were only following our orders and we can plead that God told us to do it."

Francis Maude Looking To Pauperise More Plebs.

Francis Maude, having successfully negotiated a pension rise for MP's and cabinet ministers, is now embarking on his next project - destroying the national pay rates for Civil Servants and replacing it with "local pay rates." This simply means that Civil Servants working in London and the South East will be paid much higher wages than those who work in those other areas of the country that don't count - i.e Wales and the North. The reason for this is quite simple, threadbare arguments about saving money apart - it is about entrenching the North-South divide and making sure that those areas who tend to vote Labour are suitably punished. A similar project is in the pipeline for health workers. This, Maude hopes, will destroy unity in these two organisations and open the way for privatisation by introducing an "affordable" pay scale for his rich mates when they take over. Of course most of this will fall on lower grade Civil Servants since the over-paid mandarins tend to live in London. Once more there is direct evidence that the Tory mantra, "We're all in this together," actually means pauperising ordinary wage earners to protect the rich and elevating inequality to the level of policy. Nor is austerity primarily aimed at reducing the deficit as the recent budget so graphically illustrated. It's primary aim is to reduce the tax burden of the rich funded by increasing poverty and severely curtailed services for ordinary people. Realising that the neoliberal economic theis has failed spectacularly, they are determined to handcuff us to its corpse in order to protect their money and privileges.

Call For Better Incentives To Attract "Talented" Top Civil Servants.

Lord John Browne, who was found guilty of perjury in 2007 but escaped prosecution because the judge in the case thought he'd been "punished enough" when it was revealed that he was homosexual, has called on the government to improve incentives for top civil servants in order the attract "the best talent." We asked the lying peer what he meant; "Well, as you know, many top civil servants have been avoiding paying tax and national insurance by having themselves paid through off-shore accounts using bogus companies. These are the kind of people we need in the civil service and, since the government is being forced to close this particular loophole by peasant opinion, we need to find another way to allow top civil servants to commit fraud. This is the only way to attract the best people with the necessary qualifications in greed, deviousness and theft from leading schools such as Eton and leading universities such as the Oxford or Cambridge Schools of Corporate Cheating. We are losing a great deal of talent from the Civil Service as these people are being attracted into banking and big business where criminal activity is better rewarded."

Yes Minister, Senior Civil Servants Are Crooks As Well.

More than 2,000 public servants, paid by the taxpayer, don't actually pay income tax themselves - nor National Insurance for that matter. Danny Alexander, jumping on the "You could have knocked me over with a feather" defence favoured by his mates in the Tory party, has said he is "shocked" at this level of tax avoidance. We've become used to the idea that our banks, political parties and news media are run by a bunch of crooks so why not the civil service? Still, the ginger rodent has said that he's determined to do something about it within three months - well as far as contracts of employment allow of course. You and I might have contracts of employment that are not worth the paper they're written on, but rich people's contracts are another thing entirely - apparently. According to the BBC "The government, as employer, could potentially have to meet the extra costs of National Insurance and pension payments, as well as various statutory employee rights." In other words you and I, as taxpayers who can't dodge our liabilities, will end up paying their bill for them. While "any compensation payments would reduce the amount of lost tax revenue that could be recovered." So there you have it. The government would love to stop this abuse but their hands - conveniently - are tied. "It's what I've always said," George Osborne told our reporter, "the more you tax rich people the less money you get, especially when you consider all those pesky loopholes that, try as I might, I just can't seem to close."