The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 17 August 2015

The Legend Of The Killer CV.

As the gap between average pay and that of company executives continues to accelerate the Tories have stepped forward to "help" the young into work. This includes extra training in such vital skills as interview techniques and the writing of the "killer CV". The "killer CV" is one of those modern myths that have sprung up in recent years to excuse governments for their lack of ability to create real jobs in the real economy. The "killer CV" is supposed to consist of a single-sided resume of past achievements so cunningly written and startling interesting that employers will fall over themselves to give a job to the applicant. Those who have written hundreds of CVs and applied for hundreds of jobs with no result have no one to blame but themselves for failing to compose the "killer CV" The real problem is, of course, that there is precious little left of the "real economy" which has been largely replaced by various Ponzi schemes, confidence tricks, scams and outright criminality. The Tories will never admit this so they have come up with yet another initiative that, myths aside, also contains what they call "incentives". These "incentives" include the usual bag of horrors such as working for nothing, low-paid "apprenticeships" and having benefits cut if a job - any job - is not promptly found. Naturally such considerations don't affect their own children since they have been taught at such places as Harrow and Eaton how to make crime pay while there is no need for a CV when Daddy gets you your first job at his merchant bank where tea-making is a highly skilled profession attracting an annual bonus of several hundred thousand pounds at Christmas.

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