The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Are The Tories Good For Anything?

David Cameron told us that, if we elected him into office, he would reduce immigration to under 100,000 per year. Despite this immigration into Britain has never been higher and is now topping 600,000 per year. This was their biggest selling point - devised almost exclusively to beat off the challenge from UKIP. So what went wrong? Nothing, actually, since David Cameron was lying through his teeth knowing full well that he could do nothing. But it did have the desired effect of persuading all the numbskulls in Britain to vote for him instead of Nigel Farage. So what have the Tories succeeded in doing? Have they saved the NHS as they promised? Well yes, if you count flogging it off piecemeal to their rich mates for next to nothing as "saving the NHS." They promised that they would come down hard the banks. Have they? Well yes, if you count flogging off our investment as taxpayers in them to other rich and greedy bankers at a nice hefty discount. Have they closed the tax loopholes for the rich and greedy? Well yes, if you count not doing a damned thing as "closing the loopholes." What, then, have they actually achieved? Well they have found that 2,650 people in the last two years were fit for week despite the fact that they were all dead within weeks and they've managed to breathe life into an economic system that was proven to be unfit for purpose in 2008. We asked a Tory spokesman for the party's reaction; "Well its win/win isn't it? We have shovelled huge amount of bullshit over the past six years and won a general election because of it. Now we can sit back, ignore all the problems and fill our offshore bank accounts with lots of lovely dosh courtesy of the taxpayer, the sick, the disabled and the poor. What's wrong with that?"

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