The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Smoke And Mirrors Tory Style.

The story goes like this. The Tories have known for months that they would be landed with a big surcharge from the EU. This is how the EU works. When your economy is doing well you pay a surcharge, when its not you get a rebate. Since both David Cameron and George Osborne have been boasting almost non-stop about their non-existent "recovery", even going so far as to include the estimated activity of the prostitution and drug dealing "industries", the surcharge was inevitable. The Treasury would even have have been able to calculate the size of the surcharge based on their own fictitious figures. But the EU has never been popular with the Tories and, with UKIP breathing down their necks, is even less popular at the moment. So how to turn this farce to their advantage? Feign surprise and then state firmly that Britain will not pay the £1.7 billion demanded by the December 1st. Simples! Cue George Osborne who borrows David Cameron's shiny suit of armour (sadly they only have the one between them in these times of austerity) and sallies off to tilt at the windmills in Brussels. After ten hours of talks in which St.George agrees to pay the full amount in two installments, he eventually emerges to announce a complete victory over Johnnie Foreigner. Having quickly changed out of his shiny suit of armour and into an evening suit with a fez on his head he then calls a press conference and does his impression of Tommy Cooper. And, since accountancy tricks and economic sleights of hand have served their cause so well in the past, why not claim that you've halved the bill by announcing that this will be negated by any future rebates? ("Just like that!"). The only problem is that any child with an abacus can see that this is utter rubbish and amounts to nothing more than a cynical exercise in deception and propaganda. The Tories have nothing but contempt for the ordinary people of Britain so it should come as no surprise that they are quite prepared to insult our intelligence but even the usually right-wing press in this country are having trouble swallowing this one.

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