Smoke And Mirrors Tory Style.

The story goes like this. The Tories have known for months that they would be landed with a big surcharge from the EU. This is how the EU works. When your economy is doing well you pay a surcharge, when its not you get a rebate. Since both David Cameron and George Osborne have been boasting almost non-stop about their non-existent "recovery", even going so far as to include the estimated activity of the prostitution and drug dealing "industries", the surcharge was inevitable. The Treasury would even have have been able to calculate the size of the surcharge based on their own fictitious figures. But the EU has never been popular with the Tories and, with UKIP breathing down their necks, is even less popular at the moment. So how to turn this farce to their advantage? Feign surprise and then state firmly that Britain will not pay the £1.7 billion demanded by the December 1st. Simples! Cue George Osborne who borrows David Cameron's shiny suit of armour (sadly they only have the one between them in these times of austerity) and sallies off to tilt at the windmills in Brussels. After ten hours of talks in which St.George agrees to pay the full amount in two installments, he eventually emerges to announce a complete victory over Johnnie Foreigner. Having quickly changed out of his shiny suit of armour and into an evening suit with a fez on his head he then calls a press conference and does his impression of Tommy Cooper. And, since accountancy tricks and economic sleights of hand have served their cause so well in the past, why not claim that you've halved the bill by announcing that this will be negated by any future rebates? ("Just like that!"). The only problem is that any child with an abacus can see that this is utter rubbish and amounts to nothing more than a cynical exercise in deception and propaganda. The Tories have nothing but contempt for the ordinary people of Britain so it should come as no surprise that they are quite prepared to insult our intelligence but even the usually right-wing press in this country are having trouble swallowing this one.

The Not So Unexpected Bill From Europe.

The so-called unexpected bill of £1.7 billion from Europe turns out to be less unexpected than Cameron would like us to believe. When the Tories began to count estimated earnings from illegal drug dealing and prostitution in order to bolster their claims to an "economic miracle" they must have known that this would lead to an increase in our contributions to the EU. The Treasury, it turns out, knew about the bill at least a week ago and, since they are in charge of the nation's economy, must have been able to both anticipate and calculate the size of the bill months ago. So no surprise after all. The question then is why all the fuss? Shouldn't the Tories be crowing about this as "proof" of their economic miracle? The answer to this riddle is as obvious as it is sickening. Cameron saw the £1.7 billion bill as an opportunity to both crow about his non-existent economic recovery while, at the same time, bashing the EU to placate his back-benchers and head off the increasing threat from UKIP. Having lied shamelessly about the strength of the British economy Cameron is now trying to dodge the consequences of his lying while also attempting to gain brownie points for "standing up" to those dastardly Europeans. This is politics Tory style - a sleight of hand hidden behind fake surprise - bluster and lies all wrapped up together in a nice bundle and presented to the Daily Mail as their idea of journalistic heaven. Cameron is simply hoping that the fiction of an economic recovery that most of us cannot see in our day-to-day lives can gain greater traction with the electorate if he can divert attention by polishing his silver armour and mounting a lone cavalry charge at the EU. He simply delayed the news of the surcharge by a week while he and his cronies in the Tory party could lay plans to present the story in the worst possible light as far as the EU is concerned while milking it for all it is worth in terms of the "economic recovery". This is what our Prime Minister does with his time - crafting well constructed fantasies about the economy while finding ingenious ways to point the finger at foreigners to divert our attention from the truth. Pity we haven't got one that takes the job seriously instead.

Cameron Is Handed An Unexpected Bill.

You know the feeling. Christmas is coming up, its costing you a fortune to get to work every day, the council tax is due, your gas and electric bills are spiraling as the colder weather begins and then the boiler breaks down or the engine of your car explodes. All the savings you've managed to scrape together during the previous year are now about to evaporate and next years holiday in Spain is becoming less and less likely. How would you feel then if you'd recently changed your job and were now earning more money only to find that the government was demanding that you hand over your extra pay to them? That is how poor David Cameron must be feeling this morning as the EU demands an extra £1.7 billion before the beginning of December because of the "strength" of the British economic "recovery". It must be even more galling since the so-called "recovery" is nothing of the kind and is largely based on the notional increase of house prices in London. The Tories are about to be hoist on their own petard though, as always, it will be the taxpayer (that's you and me, not the Tory's corporate chums who don't pay tax) who will pick up the bill. Cameron and Osborne have been enjoying themselves immensely for months boasting to Europe about their non-existent recovery and trying their best to kid the rest of us into voting for them in the forthcoming May general election. The EU has called their bluff and how can Cameron and Osborne now plead poverty? Oh dear what a dilemma. Still its not all bad news. At least the rest of us can sit back and watch the spectacle of Tory back-benchers falling over each other in their haste to join UKIP.