The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

How The Tories Plan To Win The Next General Election.

The Tories are busy girding their loins as they prepare to trounce all comers at the next general election and are proudly boasting about their achievements. So what are those achievements? First and foremost is the miracle economic recovery that they have engineered over the last four-and-a-half years. The strength of this "recovery", they would have us believe, is unparalleled in modern British history. So good in fact that wages have fallen faster than at anytime in the last 100 years. So good that the gap between rich and poor has widened to an extent not seen for 150 years. So good that the national debt is now higher than at anytime in recorded history. Second is their stewardship of the NHS which, you may remember, was safe in their hands. Following a top-down re-organisation which they swore would never happen, they have managed to waste billions of pounds in a cack-handed attempt to privatize the service without anyone noticing. Having sacked as many "superfluous" nurses as they could they are now feverishly recruiting replacements in Spain and Italy to prevent a complete meltdown in the NHS. Meanwhile A&E departments across the country are buckling under the strain as patients, unable to see their GP because they are too busy making money, flock to them as their only way to access even basic healthcare. Third we can all admire the Tory overhaul of the benefits system which, as IDS promised us, is "on time, on budget and ready to roll out across the country. Well sort of. Actually its not ready and is so badly behind schedule that it will probably never be rolled out while the cost is now being counted in the billions with much of the money being spent on an IT system that everyone except IDS knew would never work. Still at least he's delivered on his promise to give the poor and disabled a sense of dignity as their benefits have been cut and their homes taken off them because of the bedroom tax. Fourth we have David Cameron's triumph over the EU which, despite his use of Britain's "veto", is still doing exactly what it wants and ignoring Britain completely. But at least he's managed to bring the immigration figures down to exactly the same level that they have always been. The truth is that their only "achievement" has been to save the greedy and selfish from the consequences of their own actions and reward the criminal bankers and financiers who, despite the Tory claim that it was the last Labour government, actually crashed the world economy in 2008. What we have witnessed is nothing less than a Tory masterclass in deceit, scapegoating and self-justification with nearly five years completely wasted by a government determined to to retain an utterly discredited economic system that serves no one's interests but their own. Everything that the electorate needs to know about the Tories was expressed this week when it was announced that the Royal Navy will no longer be involved in rescuing illegal immigrants adrift in the Mediterranean. Leaving these people to drown, the Tories assure us, will "save lives" in exactly the same way that making rich people richer helps the poor and taxing rich people less increases revenues. Yeah, right!

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