The Bill Is In!

Britain, confident in its glorious future as a trading super power, has told the EU that it is willing to pay £57 billion in order to leave the EU. Of course that means that the £135 million per week for the NHS will have to wait a bit (8 years) as we pay this off but it is small price to pay to get a really good trading deal. Like the one we've already got for instance. Rich people, like those who make up the majority of the Tory party, needn't worry though since it is those who are not rich who will be paying the taxes needed to meet the divorce bill. In the meantime the rich can break out the champagne since they will dodge the EU Anti-Tax Evasion Directive that comes into force in 2019 (Phew, that was a close call!) Jeremy Hunt was quick to get behind the deal as he revisited the idea of clawing back money from NHS workers for weekend work. Meanwhile, having successfully redacted much of the information in the government's own dismal assessment of Britain's economic future after leaving the EU, David Davis has reiterated that Parliament will have a "meaningful" say on the final Brexit settlement inasmuch as they can either accept it or take the blame for not getting any kind of deal. (Phew, yet another bullet dodged by the Tory party). There can be no doubt, however, that this deal is a triumph for the Tory party. Reports tonight suggest that streets across the nation have filled with deliriously happy Brexiteers all celebrating making themselves less well off by several thousand pounds per year. "We've got control of our borders at last" one breathless celebrant told our reporter. "And we've got a Royal wedding to look forward to in May". Asked about Meghan Markle our interviewee replied, "She's got a bloody good sun tan and Americans are not really foreigners are they?" Only the vexed question of the border between Northern Ireland and Eire now stands in the way of Britain's glorious future but the Tories are confident of finding a fudge that will fool everyone long enough to carry out Brexit before the truth catches up with them.

Brexit: The Whole Sorry Saga.

Two months on and how is Brexit fairing? Well, the Tory party is still tearing itself apart over Europe, torn now between those who know that Brexit is a bloody stupid idea and those who are too stupid to know its a stupid idea. The grandees of the Tory party are circling around Article 50 like sharks trying to make up their minds if it will bite back - not one willing to start the process when their careers are at stake. The lies about all the foreigners leaving the country overnight and the £350 million per week for the NHS are now exposed for what they were while the "sunny uplands"of "independence" from Europe no longer look so sunny and the uplands look more like dark and deep chasms of economic doom. Theresa May has handed over Britain's economic future to Liam Fox and Boris Johnson with instructions for them to go abroad and put their money where their mouths are. Characteristically Fox and Johnson immediately started a turf war, more concerned about themselves than the country they profess to love. Meanwhile, in political terms, the whole thing is turning out to be a bit of an embarrassment. Britain's membership of the EU represents a huge amount of law that must now be unpicked and repealed in the only institution where such unpicking and repealing can be done - Parliament. Unfortunately most MP's are not too keen on the hard work needed for such a task, while most of them were against the idea in the first place. How many Parliamentary votes does it take for Britain to leave the EU? None, if you're a Brexiteer, because the Parliamentary democratic process will almost certainly fail to deliver the desired result. None, if you want to "Remain", because no MP in their right mind wants to wreck the economy and make stuffing their offshore bank accounts with taxpayers money even more difficult than it already is. Democracy, the thing that delivered Brexit in the first place, is becoming increasingly difficult for those in power, who never liked it much in any case, to handle, while their utter incompetence and unsuitability for the job is now glaringly obvious. Brexit is not a case of the blind leading the blind, but of the stupid leading the stupid.