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Showing posts with label Stephen Hester. RBS. Bankers Bonuses. Tory Party.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen Hester. RBS. Bankers Bonuses. Tory Party.. Show all posts

Friday, 27 January 2012

Stephen Hester: A Day In The Life.

Scene - Stephen Hester's office at RBS. Worried executive bustles in with a wad of papers.

Worried RBS executive: "Mr Hester, we have a problem."

Stephen Hester: "Oh, yes. Any idea how we might tackle it?"

Worried RBS executive: "Well no. I was rather hoping you might have a solution."

Stephen Hester: "I see. Get together a team of ten experts to look into it and report back to me with a solution. I'm off fox hunting."

Two weeks later, same office same worried executive.

Worried RBS executive: "The team has reported back and suggested three possible solutions."

Stephen Hester: "Three? I want people who bring me solutions not problems and three possible solutions represents a problem. Take it back to them and tell them to find the solution, not three possible solutions. I'm off to play a round of golf."

Two weeks later, same office same worried executive.

Worried RBS executive: "They've managed to whittle it down to one solution, sir."

Stephen Hester: "Capital. Give it to me and I'll tell the Board later. I'm off yachting this afternoon."

Two days later. Scene - the Boardroom.

Stephen Hester: "Here is my solution to our little problem. (Pauses to acknowledge round of applause). That will be £2 million thank you. Anyone care for lunch at the Savoy on expenses?"