Chris Huhne's Resignation "Great Loss To The Government."

Chris Huhne, pictured above demonstrating why he claims for lessons on the harp on expenses, has been described by his paliamentary private secretary as "a great loss to the government" because he "brought balance to the cabinet." We asked the secretary to explain more fully; "Chris was a grasping liar who's own wife couldn't trust him whereas the rest of the cabinet are grasping liars who can't be trusted by anyone. It is a great pity that the LibDems have lost such a resourceful and talented liar just when they need him the most. The "Friends of the Earth" are in deep mourning for this dedicated environmentalist though friends of his wife are not quite so impressed. Still, we have to look on the bright side. His replacement will be more popular with the Tory side of the Coalition since they hope he'll be even less effective than Chris was and Chris might beat the rap yet for all we know. I hope so since I hate to see a talented serial liar like him going to waste in banking."

Another Two-Faced Politician Fibs His Way Out Of A Job.

Chris Huhne, the LibDem Minister For Putting Up Energy Prices And Ignoring Climate Change, has been forced to resign after being charged with perverting the course of justice. Mr Huhne, pictured above demonstrating why he claims for ballet lessons, regularly also claims for such items as chocolate hobnobs, tea and even the rope for a swing despite being a millionaire and owning seven properties in Britain and two abroad. Recently found to have been bonking one of his "advisors" his wife immediately accused him of avoiding paying speeding fines by getting her to take the blame. We asked Mr.Huhne for a comment; "This is disgraceful. I should have been able to get away with this. What's the point of being a cabinet minister if you can't lie and cheat with impunity? I'll have to get you lot to buy me another packet of hobnobs tonight so I don't get too depressed. I can't imagine why my ex-wife has done this - after all screwing an advisor is no worse than screwing the electorate" We asked our political editor for his view as to the significance of this; "Significance? Not a lot really. He's a politician and an ex-banker so, by nature, is a thieving git with all the moral certitude of a teenager with a hard on. Even his own wife can't trust him."