The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Death Cult Attacks Britain

A secretive and vicious death cult, based on an insane ideology and armed with a pernicious propaganda campaign, is poised to destroy Britain today. Having sneaked into the country hiding among thousands of tax exiles who have invaded the country by the simple expedient of never actually leaving it, these terrorists base their entire ideology on the medieval beliefs of a single prophet - the blessed Margaret Thatcher. Destruction is to be visited on the country through the medium of the Autumn statement through which George Osborne, the evil "mastermind" behind today's terrorist attack, plans to shovel huge amounts of money from the poor to the rich. Many among the electorate who were stupid enough to support Osborne's vile terrorist organisation, the so-called Tory Party, are now regretting their selfishness as they have come to realise that they are not members of the "hard working families" that figure so prominantly in Tory propaganda after all. Meanwhile it is the innocent, the sick, disabled and the old, who will be today's victims as they face the very real prospect of being executed by the state in order to satisfy the greed and selfishness of a rich elite. As the NHS is driven to the wall by one of Osborne's confederates, Jeremy Hunt, admissions through A&E of people suffering from malnutrition are rocketing even as Osborne plans to cut funding for food banks. Last winter a record number of old people died despite it being one of the mildest winters on record as millions refused to turn on the heating because they were afraid of soaring gas and electricity bills. But George is not entirely hard hearted and has found several billion pounds to fund "affordable housing" - houses as cheap as £250,000 so that hard up bankers can buy a second home in London. And he has been able to find another £10 million so that his mate, David Cameron, can have his own private jet and avoid travelling with smelly holiday-makers or sharing in the danger of being bombed out of the sky by less economically-minded terrorists. Osborne's family business has also been in receipt of his generous help, paying no tax for the last seven years despite making healthy profits and despite his "crack-down" on tax dodging corporations. In the end there is little ordinary people can do to combat such terrorism, or business as usual as so-called "Tory State" terms it, except, of course, to stop voting for them, stop reading their puerile propaganda in "The Sun", "The Daily Express" and "The Daily Mail" and stop pointing the finger at other victims of the Tory campaign of terror. The only other alternative is to arrange air strikes against the heartlands of the so-called Tory State but no one is exactly sure where that is as Tory voters refuse to identify themselves and now rarely summon the faithful to prayers at their local bank.

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