The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday 12 September 2015

It's Jeremy Corbyn Wot Won It!

Jeremy Corbyn has won the election for leader of the Labour by a landslide - beating off the opposition with a massive 59.5% majority in the first ballot. This has hardly come as a great surprise since his victory has been predicted in the press for weeks. So, what does the Corbyn victory mean? David Cameron has no doubts - sternly warning us all that if he becomes Prime Minister then we will all disappear down an economic black hole. This is strange coming from a man that has smugly trebled the national debt over the last five years and complacently watched as Iain Duncan Smith has persecuted the unemployed, the old, the sick and the infirm. Having witnessed the banks laying waste to the world economy he has happily rewarded them for their efforts. Having seen for himself the disastrous results of an economy based on pure greed and stupidity, he has patiently put it back together again. Knowing who was to blame he has deliberately sought out scapegoats to divert attention away from the real perpetrators, punishing the innocent in order to reward the guilty. Any thing else, he has told us, is "socialism" - a sinister conspiracy to destroy ordinary working people by paying them a living wage, providing a decent safety net for the unlucky, giving them a good education and re-establishing services that are fit for purpose rather than to provide an easy living for the already rich. For the rest of us believing in Jeremy Corbyn will be an act of faith since any facts about his policies will be deliberately distorted by a media whose bias is a national scandal. Get ready for stories in the press that Jeremy Corbyn is in fact an ungodly alien communist bent on world domination instead of the decent man he really is. There will rumours (unsubstantiated of course) that he has millions in off shore bank accounts, that he fiddles his expenses so cunningly that the evidence for it cannot be found (which just goes to show how cunning he is) and that he wants to sell our Monarchy to the Americans (not a bad idea if selling off public assets to private enterprise is so good for us all). The question is can he win a general election? The answer to that is a resounding "yes" though that will ultimately depend on whether we are a decent country or just a disorganised rabble addicted to selfishness and greed as the Tories would have us believe. The question is not if Corbyn is good enough to elect but if we are good enough to do so.

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