What Is Cameron Hiding?

David Cameron has spent the last five days dodging questions about undisclosed texts he sent to Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson. Dismissed as "irrelevant" by Cameron's lawyers when it came the to Leveson Inquiry, it would seem that they must be a little more than that. So what might they reveal? An "inappropriate" relationship with Rebekah? Information that Cameron fed to News International that should have been kept confidential? Evidence that there was colusion between the three in order to pervert the course of justice? Or, perhaps, the collected innane comments by three people without a clue about anything of a substantive nature? Whatever they are it seems certain that Cameron would be embarrased at the very least if they were to be made public. From past experience of the inner workings of the Tory mind, revealed by the likes of Andrew Mitchell during unguarded moments, they probably reveal the contempt that Cameron feels for the "plebs" and his total disregard for the nation. Fortunately he's about to get a graphic reminder that the "plebs" far outnuber the privilged and out of touch as thousands of protestors converge on London today. The Tory reaction to this tells us all we need to know about them. While Mark Serwotka, leader of the Public and Commercial Services (PCS) union, has made it clear that the demostration is about austerity in general, a senior Tory spokesman replied that, "It is disappointing that some unions insist on pushing for irresponsible and futile strike action which benefits no-one. As we have said time and again, pension talks will not be reopened and nothing further will be achieved through strike action." The Tories, then, are deliberately missing the point and trying to blame the unions for a strike that isn't actually taking place. The problem, as always, is that the Tories see resistance to their present-day idiotic and damaging economic policies and immediately reach for their copy of "How to Solve the Problems of the 1980's" by Margaret Thatcher.

Tories Attack British Entrepeneur.

The Tory party is besides itself with rage today because an entrepeneur has identified a need in free-market Britain and decided to fill it. Despite being an outstanding example of the kind of "wealth creator" that the Tories are always banging on about, they think that his merchandise is "tasteless and inappropriate." Why? Because the T-shirts that Colin Hampton is producing points out that "A generation of Trade Unionists will dance on Thatchers grave." Taste, of course, is a matter of - well, taste - but is it also inappropriate? It would be it terms of Margaret Thatcher still being alive, but the wrapper of the T-shirt clearly says that it is to be opened only after Mrs.Thatcher actually dies. It is, essentially, an emergency product similar to the fire axes in public builders - "Break glass in case of fire." Nor is it inappropriate in terms of the truth - a generation of Trade Unionists will almost certainly dance on her grave given half the chance. What is tasteless and inappropriate is big businesses stealing our national assets, charging us through the nose for goods and services and then refusing to pay their fair share of taxes. What is tasteless and inappropriate is tax cuts given to the wealthy while the charity Save the Children is having to divert money from Africa to feed the starving children of Britain. Even more tasteless and inappropriate are the Tory plans for a state funeral for the most devisive, vicious, narrow-minded and completely wrong-headed Prime Minister in the history of Britain. Perhaps they should take a leaf out of Colin Hampton's book and sell tickets to all those Trade Unionists who wish to dance on her grave - that would almost certainly pay off the deficit.

Cameron Surprised As The Peasants Fight Back.

After two-and-a-half years of punishing ordinary people for the criminal acts of bankers, forcing their incomes down and stealing their pensions, David Cameron has voiced his total disbelief that they might object or that they might fight back. "I don't understand why the unions are threatening to strike," he told our reporter as he inspected the latest delivery of wine for his cellar. "I've told them that there's no choice but to pauperise ordinary people, take their jobs away and steal their pensions but they don't seem to understand. The only way that we can save the best people in this country and, more importantly, their money, is for the peasants to accept that the recession is all their fault. While the banks were working day and night to improve things for all of us and sacrificing themselves for the common good, while corporate executives were working their fingers to the bone to create low-paid jobs, overpaid public sector workers and people pretending to have no legs were simply loafing about. I've heard of cases where people such as auxillary nurses and office cleaners have nearly enough money to feed themselves. There are useless cripples out there - I'm not talking about our magnificent Paralympic medal-winners by the way - who seem to think that losing the odd limb or contracting an incurable disease entitles them to an income that most people can only dream about. Meanwhile there are bankers, corporate executives and, more especially, hard working politicians in this country with barely enough money to keep their private jets flying and their modest 200 hundred foot yachts afloat. The trouble with union leaders is that are completely out of touch with reality."