The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 11 November 2011

William Hague Introduces Libya To "Democracy"


William Hague, pictured above, has introduced Libya to good old fashioned democratic corruption. In October Heritage Oil landed a £12 million deal in Libya after "donating" £60,000 to the Tory Party. William Hague had already used his position in government to mediate a dispute between Heritage Oil and the Ugandan government over a £175 million tax bill, while Christian Sweeting, a "company representative" of Heritage, provided "information" about Libya during the recent hostilities. Mr.Sweeting had previosuly been a Tory party candidate in 2001 when William Hague was leading the party. We asked Mr.Hague for his comments; "Libya needs to learn the ropes as far as "democracy" is concerned and I'm keen that Britain should get in quick. If we can corrupt the new government of Libya before anyone else we can get loads and loads of lovely oil and my mates will make a fortune. My next lesson to the Libyans will be "Manipulating The Electorate 101" which will enable them to lie to an uninformed electorate without being found out until its too late. The final lesson is "Ignoring The Electorate Without Consequencies."

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